The Secret Sisters/Ann Maxwell
I don't know how this book slipped into my collection of science fiction texts....As far as I'm concerned, it might be categorized as romance suspense.
But still a pleasant read, fascinating and intriguing. A reader doesn't have to know a lot about Anasazi culture or fashion to enjoy it. And both Christy McKenna and Aaron Cain are honest good people, who have their strengths and weakness, thus attracting each other and the reader. As for Jo-Jo, in my younger days, I would feel weary about such a character, but now I somehow wonder what she might be if she survives and meets Christy after all these years, perhaps a modern (as well as wretched, pathetic, sad) Helen herself, maybe?
I found that Borges wrote this short story when investigating the new movie Immortals.
Actually I read this story before but it feels like reading it the first time (or, quoting Asterion's words, the fourteenth time) as I couldn't recall the content when seeing the title. But still, this is a good story. The style is a little bit like that of Invisible Cities by Italo Calvino, philosophical as well as poetical. What's the difference between one and infinity and the difference between a home and a maze? Perhaps what imprisons us is never a concrete architecture, but ourselves. As Minotaur can leave the labyrinth freely but he can never escape from the loneliness and the alienation that separate him from others. No wonder he would be convinced that Theseus is his redeemer and death his redemption.
By the way, the movie sucks. Anyone who considers to see the movie could save the money and the time. Read the story instead, that surely is a better use of one's time.
The Trees of Pride by G. K. Chesterton
This is not my first G. K. Chesterton, but this is my first mystery story by him. Like Chesterton's works, this story is embellished with his humor and the theme, rather than about the mystery, I think is about the conflict between science and religion, which is also a recurring topic in Chesterton's works.
I didn't find Dr. Brown suspicious until the end. Nevertheless, I did suspect that Squire Vane was not dead at all as, in my opinion, a dead body would hardly turn into dry bones (and no other remains except the hat) just in that short period of time.
After reading the story, I could not help but wonder who is the real proud person, the Squire, the lady, the poet, the doctor, the lawyer, or the art critic? Perhaps they are all arrogant in their particular ways, even the seemingly aloof Treherne and Barbara, although their marriage might signify the union, and thus the compromise, between the major British culture and the local Celtic one.
Sonnets from the Portuguese by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
An entry after one year! It's not that I forgot this place or stopped reading. It's just that I am experiencing another phase of life--moving to a country little town that in the first twenty years of my life I didn't even know it exists and trying to settle down.
Oh, I have to say sorry to those who left a comment in this blog that I couldn't manage to reply in time (and probably don't need to as most of the commentators seek urgent help and it's too late now? :-P).
Anyway, I read Sonnets form the Portuguese some time ago and read it again several days ago as my seventh anniversary with my husband arrived. In my reading second time, I was very moved (and might be over moved) by the poetess's passion and imagination, though the wording might be a little archaic. But this poetry, in my opinion, suits every person that is in love, be the love passionate or serene.
Sonnets from the Portuguese
XLIII
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
(my italic)
Songs of Actions by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
It never occurred to me that apart from Holmes, Conan Doyle has other works, especially poetry. What surprised me more is that this collection of poetry, or more like a collection of folksongs, comprises works that appeal kinds of human emotions, especially those describing battle field. It is quite difficult to imagine that the one who wrote such ardent poetry should create a over-calm, minute, exact figure like Holmes! But well, this collection is a delight for reading, easy, passionate, and fluent.
The Fair Rewards by Thomas Beer
This novel is mesmeric....I can not but smile when reading Mark Walling's view about theater, such as "what is a play without scenery?" and something like that. The pleasant mood lasts until the ungrateful Margot falls...It makes me feel sad that such a character should be a childish girl, although I am never surprised at how foolish a childish person could be sometimes.
Another interesting thing for me is that Wilde never appears in this novel while Shaw and others do have their places. Perhaps it is that Wilde still suffered from his infamous death.
Dracula's Guest by Bram Stoker
I do not always read horror stories because, for me, reading horror stories is like watching horror films. If they are good, you are paying both your time and money to feel horrible. If they are terrible, why bother?
However, there are some authors that could overpass this reluctance. One is Poe, another, Stoker? Maybe. I must admit I read this collection out of sheer curiosity. Nevertheless, I do not feel disappointed after leafing through it. Stoker's writing is clear and fluent, and some stories would make me feel chilling in the back. And well, I particularly like "The Gypsy Prophecy," in which the ambiguity of prophecy is minutely described.
Much Ado About Nothing By William Shakespeare
Somehow I feel that the theme of misunderstood love still lives in contemporary works of TV program...XD
It is short, entertaining, and the reader might feel relieved when the conspiracy is revealed, the name of Hero cleaned, and the marriage consumed. However, I still feel uneasy when it occurs to me that Desdemona of Othello is also accused of infidelity and has to die for the accusation without a chance to defend herself. It's like, why do women have to suffer for men's folly?
Mountain Interval by Robert Frost
Suddenly a sensation of nostalgia grasped me when I read the first poem in this book and surely it had to be The Road Not Taken. Frost's works always strike me as fluent, oral, and pastoral. The poetry collected in Mountain Interval is no exception. He is good at finding extraordinary from the ordinary, even from the tedious routine countryside life style. Perhaps, for him, the poetic could only be perceived by experiencing daily life wholeheartedly.
Arms and the Man by Bernard Shaw
Bernard Shaw is a writer that I come to admire through years. But just as what is written in the introduction, his works never intends to please the reader. Rather, he "only succeeded in proving that absolutely rational men and women--although he has created few of the latter--can be most extremely disagreeable to our conventional way of thinking."
And sometimes, Shaw could create the effect of intimidation when he seems to believe in what he says about humanity rather than intend to present it in a humorous or cynical way, and that often makes the reader uncomfortable.
However, Arms and the Man is a more comfortable work, compared with Major Barbara or Ibsen's work. Somehow I feel that this play is more like that of Wilde's, exposing the hypocrisy of the rich. This is a play about being practical, even about war. Even though Raina and Sergius endeavor to maintain the old-fashioned, medieval, and aristocratic atmosphere of knights and high ladies, what they are, essentially, is the modern bourgeois that emerges out of business and industry. Ironically, while Sergius and Raina are ignorant about the cruelty of war, the experienced, rational, cold officer Bluntschili is ignorant about daily life and misunderstands Raina's intention as well as age. Nevertheless, as most Victorian plays, they all end in marriage, happily naturally.
Talents, Incorporated by Murray Leinster
This is a sweet story. I mean, it is like a fairy tale wrapped in a robe of science fiction, especially the last "they live happily hereafter" scene. But well, sometimes magic and science work the same for me as they attempt to realize the wonder, the inconceivable.
Another magic is those talents who perform various incredible tricks. But again, what is the difference between prophets and lunatics? Perhaps the difference lies not only in faith but also in results. And well, our animal brain might in fact perform better than the most advanced computer, it is just that we have not found the way to make the best of it yet.
Nevertheless, if you put aside these complicated questions, you could still enjoy the smooth writing and the little romance of the story.
Beasts, Men, and Gods by Ferdinand Ossendowski
Trans. Lewis Stanton Palen
What is more exotic? The place never-been or the place familiar but seen through strange perspective? In this book, what interests more is indeed the description of those familiar but strange places, namely, Mongolia and Tibet. As a person with Chinese culture upbringing, what I feel about Mongolia and Tibet is invariably tinged with the fantasy of "the (noble) barbarian." Thus, it is quite refreshing for me to read what a foreigner saw Mongolia and Tibet. Ossendowski definitely sympathizes with Mongolian and Tibet, and, in his text, contemporary Chinese government is seen with unfavorable eyes. But that's all right since Ossendowski provides singular experiences of their daily life as well as religious meditation in a specific historical moment. And that is more real and even touching for me than those grandiose defeats and conquests taught in my historical text books.
I specifically like the passage Ossendowski lauds Mongolia in chapter XVII：
In the heart of Asia lies the enormous, mysterious and rich country of Mongolia. From somewhere on the snowy slopes of the Tian Shan and from the hot sands of Western Zungaria to the timbered ridges of the Sayan and to the Great Wall of China it stretches over a huge portion of Central Asia. The cradle of peoples, histories and legends; the native land of bloody conquerors, who have left here their capitals covered by the sand of the Gobi, their mysterious rings and their ancient nomad laws; the states of monks and evil devils, the country of wandering tribes administered by the descendants of Jenghiz Khan and Kublai Khan—Khans and Princes of the Junior lines: that is Mongolia.
Mysterious country of the cults of Rama, Sakkia-Mouni, Djonkapa and Paspa, cults guarded by the very person of the living Buddha—Buddha incarnated in the third dignitary of the Lamaite religion—Bogdo Gheghen in Ta Kure or Urga; the land of mysterious doctors, prophets, sorcerers, fortune-tellers and witches; the land of the sign of the swastika; the land which has not forgotten the thoughts of the long deceased great potentates of Asia and of half of Europe: that is Mongolia.
The land of nude mountains, of plains burned by the sun and killed by the cold, of ill cattle and ill people; the nest of pests, anthrax and smallpox; the land of boiling hot springs and of mountain passes inhabited by demons; of sacred lakes swarming with fish; of wolves, rare species of deer and mountain goats, marmots in millions, wild horses, wild donkeys and wild camels that have never known the bridle, ferocious dogs and rapacious birds of prey which devour the dead bodies cast out on the plains by the people: that is Mongolia.
The land whose disappearing primitive people gaze upon the bones of their forefathers whitening in the sands and dust of their plains; where are dying out the people who formerly conquered China, Siam, Northern India and Russia and broke their chests against the iron lances of the Polish knights, defending then all the Christian world against the invasion of wild and wandering Asia: that is Mongolia.
The land swelling with natural riches, producing nothing, in need of everything, destitute and suffering from the world's cataclysm: that is Mongolia.
It is like Mongolia is no longer a collection of misty imaginations, but a real land that benefits as well as suffers from its inhabitants and its neighbors.
Beauties of Tennyson by Lord Alfred Tennyson
I always enjoy Tennyson, but I never imagined that one day Tennyson's lyrical, sentimental works would give me the creeps...oops!
But it happened! Just when I was reading Tennyson's laud of a little shell. Perhaps it was because I became hardened during the years, or is it that Tennyson, in this collection of poems, just became too sentimental?
Nevertheless, fortunately (perhaps I should say unfortunately), I still feel touched when reading the stanza:
There has fallen a splendid tear
From the passion-flower at the gate.
She is coming, my dove, my dear;
She is coming, my life, my fate;
The red rose cries, "She is near, she is near;"
And the white rose weeps, "She is late;"
The larkspur listens, "I hear, I hear;"
And the lily whispers, "I wait."
If we ignores the sentimental repetition, it is still a lovely passage describing yearning for one's lover, isn't it?
The Ball and the Cross by G. K. Chesterton
Chesterton is an author I became fond of after leaving school, although The Ball and The Cross is the first book that I read through.
Humorous, ironic, but never bitter. That's what Chesterton is and sometimes his writing leaves me the impression that if a satirist is harsh in his irony, the reason must that he cherishes humanity--instead of hating it--to much.
Then we have The Ball and the Cross. The Ball symbolizes the earth, thus nature or science, while the cross, naturally, symbolizes the religion--Christianity. The conflict between these two concepts is embodied through fighting between two persons: the atheist James Turnbull and the pious Roman Catholic Evan MacIan. However, as their duel is perpetually postponed by various disturbances, they finally reached kind of mutual understanding. They both give up their extremist attitudes and feel compassion for human race.
In a way Chesterton is always nostalgic. It seems that he detests those modernist social values, thus we have his comment upon machinery:
It is a characteristic of all things now called "efficient", which means
mechanical and calculated, that if they go wrong at all they go entirely
wrong. There is no power of retrieving a defeat, as in simpler and more
living organisms. A strong gun can conquer a strong elephant, but a wounded elephant can easily conquer a broken gun. Thus the Prussian monarchy in the eighteenth century, or now, can make a strong army merely by making the men afraid. But it does it with the permanent possibility that the men may some day be more afraid of their enemies than of their officers. Thus the drainage in our cities so long as it is quite solid means a general safety, but if there is one leak it means concentrated poison—an explosion of deathly germs like dynamite, a spirit of stink. Thus, indeed, all that excellent machinery which is the swiftest thing on earth in saving human labour is also the slowest thing on earth in resisting human interference. It may be easier to get chocolate for nothing out of a shopkeeper than out of an automatic machine. But if you did manage to steal the chocolate, the automatic machine would be much less likely to run after you.
Indeed Chesterton does not oppose science or technology, but I think he does oppose the mechanical way of modern society that favors efficiency rather than human complicity. But that does not mean Chesterton favors religion over science. What he favors, I think, is that, have faith but never goes too far, no matter what you believe in.
A Knyght Ther Was by Robert F. Young
Tired of solemn Arthur C. Clarke? Despaired of the hardboiled high technological future of Philip K. Dick? Disappointed at the-never-changing-oppression women face in feminist science fiction? Then perhaps you should try Robert F. Young.
Surely, few read Young in Taiwan, I believe. Or if some do, most of them might only read The Dandelion Girl due to its influence on RahXephon and Clannad.
Soft, simple, somewhat melodramatic, but with a healing touch. That's what makes Young's work lovely. In a way, most of his stories are like fairy-tales which end with "they live happily ever after," not in the silly or cynical sense, but offering people comfort, presenting the reader a solid home ground that one could settle down. But Young's work is science fiction, neither fairy tale nor utopia providing only with vain escape. I always feel that no science fiction would be written if the writer is satisfied with the status quo. Although not with elaboration, Young does describe not-so-perfect future society in his work, just as the perilous business of "time-lifting" in A Knyght Ther Was. Indeed, the characters in his writing do not struggle to change the unfair social system, nor do they endeavor to create a paradise. They just happen to find, or to be "found" in the case of The Servant Problem, the gate leads to earthly bliss and grab the door knob. And that, I think, manifests another important constituent of science fiction, namely, the existence of hope.
Nevertheless, there is a defect in A Knyght Ther Was. It is an intriguing, ingenious, and even possible hypothesis that what was written in Le Morte d'Arthur in fifteenth century could be a direct recording of, word for word, what a sixth century "damsel" had said if, and only if, those literary manuscripts, such as Beowulf, Bede's Chronicle, and King Alfred's translation do not survive to this day. In short, it seems that Young was not aware of the stark difference between Old English and Middle English. But it does not harm the delights of reading the story. Rather, if Rowena truly speaks Old English, I do not see any possibility that Mallory could communicate with her and, thus, the story could exist at all. So, please relax and enjoy it.
Cacoethes Scribendi/ Catharine Maria Sedgwick
Truly this is not a story that addresses human struggle or social injustice. Sedgwick mentioned nothing about abolition, which was quite an issue at that time. She wrote a little bit about women's effort in asserting their subjectivity through writing but eventually she confirmed the conventional value of family and marriage in this story, lacking the edge manifested in works like Virginia Woolf's.
However, it is still a lovely story, revealing the tranquil side of rural life that had not been tainted with the bustle of industrialism yet. What Sedgwick has done is, as is written Norton introduction, recording "ways of life already gone or rapidly disappearing from New England"(460). But the peculiar aspect she presents here is a delightful one. Undoubtedly, reading this story will have you smile warmly in a sunny morning, when everything appears to be brighter under the light of hopefulness.
Ursula K. LeGuin
I like "The Wife's Story" best. Perhaps we could never realize a person even after living together for many years... :p
In these far far away places, could one regain those memroies lost, could one really get back home? I do not think so. Whereever and whenever we search for the serenity of heart, we should seek it right and now rather than there and then...
James Tiptree Jr./ Alice Sheldon
It seems that reading this book allows the reader to witness the ending(s) of the world...or of mankind/humanity? It is quite astonishing to see how men could be so cruel and violent to the other half of the race. Or is it that men and women are, after all, different races?
It is interesting that although I admire "The Girl Who Was Plugged In," "Houston, Houston, Do You Read?," and "The Women Men Don't See" enough, I am definitely awed by "With Delicate Mad Hands" and "We Who Stole The Dream," which quite cleary depicted the hopelessness of humanity and the sweetness of pursuing destined death.
Toni Morrison
Surely this is a story about gaze, internalization, violence, and abuse as well as about gender and race.
And it is really a sad story, about innocence and innoccence lost....I could not but grieve over Pecola, who is so obssessed with blue eyes, with the desire of being loved.
The truth is, we all want to be loved....sometimes the desire is so strong that we refuse to see what we are, to realize that what we crave so much for is indeed nothing but a sweet illusion. We all think that as long as we have "the thing" then we will be loved. But we could never obtain it just as the blue eyes could never be blue enough.
The Highest Treason by Randall Garett
最高級的背叛果然就是以背叛拯救全人類嗎？這樣跟機器人卡通中的試圖以一場浩劫戰爭來告訴人類戰爭是不好的有沒有差別呢？雖然本質上好像沒有差別，但是好像感覺差很多啊，前者令人感動，後者只讓我無言，我想大概是因為在這篇小說之中，人類由於外星人的逼近，已經到了危急存亡之秋，所以這樣的舉動可以認為是必要的吧。
至於主角厭倦害怕的地球，這樣的描寫的確很六零年代啊（可以比較黑暗的左手），對於均富理想的破滅（抑或恐共？）這點是相同的，抑或可以看成是烏托邦社會不可避免的缺點，所謂安全必定產生無趣，所謂平等必定產生僵化。只是，若是沒有外來的威脅的話，這樣的生活好像也不能說上壞，如果沒有壞心外星人的話.......
所以說，「他者」真是推動慾望的好東西啊～藉由外星人這個Alien Other, 主角便有了充分的理由破壞現有的社會體制，重新取得人類思考的能力，使人類贏得星際戰爭，並且將自己轉化成另一個Other ，成為人類文明的陰影，藉此刺激人類社會不要再墮入原來的僵硬社會。
但是這樣真的好嗎？主角的作為除了是為了拯救全人類，另一方面也是因為他討厭成為「輸」的那一方，如果再跟黑暗的左手主角（他將一樣重要的科技交給中立且善意的外星人，藉以達到阻止戰爭爆發跟侵略的目的）比較的話，本作的主角的思考方式顯然就非常的偏向男性進化論的思考（survival of the fittest..competition...anything)
但是其實我也不是贊同人類都不要抵抗直接成為外星人奴隸，只是看到最後人類被描寫成（疑似）狂熱的戰爭主義者時，不禁覺得有點悲傷.....
Ann Dally.
前半部講歷史還滿有趣的，不曉得有沒有人出中國/台灣育兒史這種書。:p
覺得有趣的一點是，雖然Dally 的立場是反對藉著母愛（or maternal instinct)為名，將母親和小孩隔離在家庭裡頭，也不認為育兒是母親完全的責任，但是後半部舉的例子裡頭，全部都是在說不成熟的母親如何導致兒童心理上的創傷。而且當她指出現代的城市規劃裡頭少了母子相處的空間時，似乎也悄悄回到了將母親與小孩同時綁在一起的預先假設。
即使她宣稱夠好的母親(good-enough mothers）有許多種型態，但無疑地她舉出來的例子其實在某一程度上支撐了「只要有足夠多的愛」以及「母親的人格夠成熟」那麼不管一個母親在經濟上有沒有獨立、在社會上有沒有開放的人際關係，她依然能夠養出好小孩。
至於對於homosexual/lesbian mothers 的省略不提（可能是缺乏資料）就更不用說了。
Naomi Wolf
對於這本書的style 其實並不是那麼習慣，說抒情也不像小說或散文，但作為學術論文又太personal，或許應該去找找Beauty Myth 這本書來看看。
至於她提倡的power feminism，並不是件太糟的事情，在這個遊戲（人生或社會都是）裡頭，妳要得到什麼其實也就必須取決於妳對遊戲的認識、妳的籌碼、還有妳對妳有多少籌碼這件事情有多大的認知。所以以她的觀點而言，女生們（尤其是中產階級）其實已經有很大的權力，而她們應該以更理性更有自信的方式去運用這些權力，才能替其他沒有這些權力的女生爭取到更大的權益。
其實對比到最近吵得沸沸揚揚的優生保健法，其實還滿感慨的。我的感慨並不是在於說有權力的女生都不站出來說話（事實上我們看到很多了），而是在於當這些聲音發出來的時候，又是怎麼被消音、視為不合邏輯（或許邏輯不是那麼通，但是邏輯也有可能是一種信仰）和忽略的。
而Wolf的power feminism 無疑地會面臨一個難題，就是她對金錢的重視。誠然，經濟獨立是人格獨立的一個重要元素，而 Wolf 鼓勵女性努力達成經濟獨立也無可厚非，但是她的鼓勵其實帶著一個暗示，也就是對於資本主義的服膺，雖然Wolf 不排除在非資本主義社會裡女性的自主宣示（例如某印地安族）但是她討論的對象無疑是以資本主義為架構的已開發國家，而她鼓勵的是依照資本主義的遊戲規則下去尋求經濟獨立--對工資福利的negotiation、對不當事件（不管是性騷擾或是玻璃天花板）以無畏的姿態爭取-- 而這些遊戲規則（甚至資本主義）在很根本的程度上是男性所制訂的。
That is, we have to play their game in their way to win. Perhaps that's true, since when in Rome, we have to do as Romans do. But the question is, do we have to? or, do we have the choice not to?
Anne Balsamo.
是很有趣的書，而且因為講述的大部分是非常生活化、現實中的事實，所以就更令人為之驚異，雖不至震聾發瞶的地步，但總是能提供與想像中不一樣的想法。
Balsamo 對於科技的態度是比較保留的，並不像更早的人覺得科技很快就能帶來女性的福利，這或許是理所當然的，當一次大戰女性開始投入職場，提供了便宜的人力並且獲得經濟獨立的契機之後，隨之而來的是男性的敵視，因為工作機會隨之變少了，科技或許也是一樣的，帶來便利之餘，其實又帶來什麼樣的隱憂是一時之間很難發現但又不能不謹慎的。而Balsamo 呼籲的就是這樣的謹慎，她不是全面的反對科技，而是提醒，科技不只是單方面的提供各種服務，而是不間歇地介入、影響、甚至改變人類的生活形態和身體形式，而這種介入有好有壞，她想表達的，或許就是在沒有仔細思考科技背後隱含的立場和意識型態時，科技所帶來的影響，對於大部分的女性而言，壞處很可能比好處多許多。
如果說，科技提供了讓我們成為任何我們想成為的形式（性別、容貌、體能甚至有形/無形），那麼探討這些選擇是否如科技宣稱的那麼多元以及自由、誰控管這些技術、誰選取這些技術、這些技術背後涵蓋的是什麼社會價值，或許就是Balsamo想做的事了。
George Leonard.
是非常好念的書，不知道是因為行文流暢呢還是排版良好。
提出的問題其實是很多台灣的教育也都有，而雖然他提出
的理想教育實在是太理想化了，但也不可不說是貴重的想
法吧。
教育、家庭和社會間的互動要怎麼樣才能達到理想的平衡
呢？Perkins 在 Herland裡頭認為不是每個母親天生都懂
得教養孩子，而必須將孩子託付給專業的教育者，而讓母
親有離開家庭工作、實現她真正專長的機會; 幾乎每一部
女性烏托邦的作品裡頭都極力讓女性與育兒的角色脫離，
讓孩子在一個community的情況下接受教育。在近代社會裡
這種community的角色就由學校代替了，但是顯然學校教育
的結果並沒有像小說裡頭那樣的理想，而且幾乎是國家社
會極權意識在背後操縱的陰濕環境（至少台灣和日本是這
樣的吧）。就我個人而言（之前我或許已經在其它地方如
此說過了，而現在我依然如此覺得），雖然在台灣的教育
體制之下，並沒有受到任何虐待或者體罰，也沒有受到排
擠，在某些時刻甚至覺得很自在，但是如果要我回去那樣
的環境裡頭，我是絕不肯的。
那麼，問題到底是在哪裡呢？體制來自人心，或許在任何
體制上的改革之前，都必須先讓人的想法有徹底的改變，
那麼改變才能真正的實現吧。
Gothic and Gender: An Introduction/ Donna Heiland
很有趣的書，裡面用到最多的概念是Uncanny，但是這部分我完全沒有仔細看，反倒是Heiland在簡單敘述故事情節的時候看得津津有味，畢竟文本除了Frankenstein之外都沒有實際看過。但是談論Frankenstein跟gothic genre的文章，覺得還是Brian Stableford寫的比較清楚一點，雖然Stableford的立意在於證明Frankenstein的確是科幻小說起源之一。但是由於Heiland提出的"absence of mothers" 這一點好像也可以稍微印證到He, She, and It 裡頭Avram 和 Yod的關係。
至於其他有趣的地方有兩個，第一個是瞭解到了John Polidori 跟 Byron之間（可能）的八卦，另一個就是Magarat Atwood使用的 "costume gothic" 這個詞。Polidori 將 Vampyre 這本書獻給了Byron，據說書中主角也是以Byron作為性格來源，所以出現了Byronic Vampire（可以對照到Byronic Hero?)。Atwood 使用的costume gothic 似乎有貶低gothic novel之義，不知是否如此。
大概因為沒有看過小說，所以我覺得還不錯，除了演員的表現沒有很出色以外（尚雷諾實在不適合講英文:~）
對於西拉苦修的部分則是覺得太寫實了，如果被虐狂是以自己的受折磨來折磨施虐者的話，那作為施虐者的觀眾之一的我，的確被折磨到了。XD
至於謎底，不曉得為什麼想到了hysteric woman, a hysteric woman does not want to possess the phallus but desires to fill the lack in the Other (may be in the same way as a male child who wants to be the phallus of the Other, his mother, before entering Oedipus complex...!?). It is quite interesting that the female child, no matter the infant of Maria Madeline or Sophie, is subjected to the position as one who perpetuates the male's undertaking. It seems that, willingly or unwillingly, she never solves any mystery but embodies it just like a Sphinx.
Roger Caillois. Trans. Meyer Barash
很有趣的書，由於有一半是描述性跟分類性的敘述，還有很多有趣的例子，所以念起來也不大吃力。
對於alea(chance)的分析很精闢，不過我想更重要的應該是mimicry和illinx(vertigo）的結合吧。儀式性的巫師面具隱瞞了身份，藉由降神（乩童？）儀式進入催眠狀態，而引起敬畏。或者藉由面具與暴力的結合引起恐懼和導入某種社會秩序。這一點應該對後來Baudrillard所論述的simulacrum所導致的vertigo有所影響吧。
taipeimonochrome ミステリっぽい本とプログレっぽい音樂 � 倉橋 由美子
啊啊有趣的作家又少了一位。雖然只看過亞瑪諾國往返記跟怪奇故事而已，但真的都是有趣的故事唷，尤其是亞瑪諾國，以feminist utopia或精神分析的讀法來看，真的是非常有趣的故事。
Petty, Anne C. One Ring to Bind Them All: Tolkien's Mythology. Tuscaloosa: U of Alabama P, 2002.
乍看到神話學還感到有些親切，不過也覺得還滿有趣的，我還以為在解構潮之下，神話學這套建築在Structualism之上理論早就被丟到冷凍櫃或展示櫃當化石去了。
看了其中一章，覺得結構主義會被解構好像也不是沒有原因的，因為太完美/完整了，導致沒有討論的空間，看完一章之後我很好奇研究這樣學問的人要怎麼彼此切磋，感覺一切都是是非題。舉例來說，Frodo離開Bagend是不是departure impulse呢？感覺上就只能把這樣的現象套入預設的模子裡，妳覺得是就是，不是就不是，簡單明瞭，於是要嘛就是全盤接收要嘛就是另起爐灶分道揚鑣。
這樣完整緊密的結構論述就宗教信仰而言或許是好事，對於一個學門而言可能就很容易走入死路（我從很久以前就覺得Joseph Campbell有點像那種職業是開導別人的心靈導師，不知道跟這門學問有沒有關XD）。在一個「後」的時代，大師易去，榮華難再，神話學或許也要走上神話的宿命，在陪伴人類的原初時代後消失於舞台？（但是Tolkien 不是認為myth/faery一直都在嗎？:Q)
Robin Hobb
相較於刺客三部曲，由於我的反社會情節，反而比較不喜歡這部續作。表面上看來似乎是要給Fitz一個合理的報償，實際上卻削弱了反動的力量，終究將人類限制在社會裡頭。
為了那樣的報酬，Fitz失去了Nighteys, Beloved, 還有Burrich。Nettle也脫離了平凡的生活進入了宮廷，這些換來的不過是他餵養給龍的一些感情，以及和Molly的生活，坦白說，我並不認為這是值得的交易，因為我想，只有 Nighteyes 才能帶給Fitz平靜的生活。
結果Fitz也沒變得比較聰明一點，總是被耍來耍去的，Chad 跟 Starling 變得令人討厭了，本來還滿可愛的小孩們變成嚴重反抗期的死小孩，Ketricken 被Chad跟貴族宮廷夾纏而疲倦不堪...
是的，疲倦不堪，這大概是我對這三部曲最終的感想。
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明天上課要用的投影片。主題是Burne-Jones跟Neo-classicism，討論的大概就是Perseus 系列、Pygmalion系列跟以Venus為主題的幾幅畫。
沈曼雯譯，新雨出版社。
非常棒的故事集。看到Ogre國遊記時不由得會心一笑，原來覺得Swift怪怪的不只是我啊。
另外，聖家族也是很有趣的一篇，看到Primal Scene實在是很難不笑出來。但是，或許就算是外星人也會有她們自己精神上教養上的煩惱吧。
另外，倉橋對中國的神話也掌握得很好，飛頭蠻那篇尤其精彩。
但是，為什麼如此熱中於食人的題材呢？或許把人像動物一般的吃掉，也是某種否定人的主體性的方式之一？
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明天上課用的presentation。
兩三年前也作過一個Beardsley的presentation，並不是太成功，過了兩三年卻也沒有覺得比較容易一點，到底沒有進步的是我還是圖書館呢？（shrugs）
這是明天上課報告要用的檔案，題目是Furman-Adams, Wendy and Virginia James Tufte. “Anticipating Empson: Henry Fuseli’s Re-Vision of Milton’s God.” Milton Quarterly 35 (2001): 258-74. 這篇文章
試試Blog的上傳功能。這個檔案是英國文學與插畫這門課某次presentation的內容，主要是報告“Henry Fuseli’s Pragmatic Use of Aesthetics: His Epic Illustrations of Macbeth” 這篇文章。
馮內果。
大概是本學期中感覺最空虛的一本小說。解構游離，而且令人感覺不到希望的存在，看完都覺得自己的記憶也快掉入disintegration...
或許最終我們都無法逃離瘋狂，或許我們都已經無藥可救。
看完了之後其實有點空虛，大概是因為「到底會為了什麼樣的原因奪取別人的生命呢？」這類的問題吧。
信仰是件很麻煩的事情，有時候有了會讓生活過得比較美好，但大部分的時候似乎是替他人帶來更多的麻煩。日前聽聞某堂課上有學妹公然稱他人的教派為邪教並辯論，這是我非常無法忍受的事情，要是在場的話，大概會離席抗議吧。而以神之名殺人這一點，又更是我無法理解的層次了。
我想，如果真的有神存在的話，大概也是跟那本追尋不到的書一樣，在無法碰觸的層次上嘲笑我們吧。
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
看到倒數三分之一時，就覺得歷史要重演了，只能說"It runs in the family..." XD
但是Buendia 家族的不幸到底是來自於無法拯救的孤獨，還是來自於他們不過是吉普賽人寫下的紙上幻影呢？
小說前附的世系表還挺有用的，雖然還是看得頭昏眼花。
The Devil's Dictionary - Ambrose Bierce - Free Online Library
Ambrose Bierce
funny, humorous, and even a little cynical.
But somehow I can smell a little about the kind of life American writers, such as Allan Poe, led at the first half of 19th century. Definitely not easy, I think, although life is never easy.
Thus, the entry I like best is:
INFANCY, n. The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth,
"Heaven lies about us." The world begins lying about us pretty soon
afterward.
By the way, I think it is pretty cool to able to sign one's than as A.B. :p
花了好幾年才漸漸覺得有點明白為何蕭伯納如此饒舌。
大三那年初讀Major Babara，雖覺得情節有趣，卻不免太過冗長。等到畢業後，或許是經歷過了一些事，讀完Heartbreak House 居然悚然而驚，而這股悚然也延續到 Mrs. Warren's Profession。
讀蕭伯納覺得悚然並不是因為他的作品是悲劇，事實上，反而是來自於劇中人物那份輕鬆無謂，尤其是對於親情接近冷淡的處理，就像 Vivie，到底她是怎麼能夠這樣毫無掙扎地離開那農莊到鎮上呢？甚至我覺得，她那麼簡單就選擇離開並不是因為她母親的職業，而是對她而言，親情就是如此的東西，並不值得留戀。
但是難道我不是藉由這樣的閱讀反射自己嗎？或許隱藏在那悚然底下的是一層對Vivie的欣羨，因為她輕易地放下了我同樣放下的東西，卻無須/不會背負著我深藏的欠咎/心虛/不安。
Jane Jenson
Gabriel Knight 第二集。
果然語言不通有很大的影響，Gabriel 到德國去之後美男計和紐澳良口音也派不大上用處了，只能裝裝小白美國佬。（笑）
私心以為Grace 那邊的劇情比較有趣，畢竟能把Ludwig之死跟Wagner 做這麼有趣的引伸還滿不錯的，而且Gabriel似乎都只靠著傳家寶在撐場面，果然沒受過正規訓練就是不行嗎...
不過最後有點弱掉的感覺，兩隻狼的對峙就很純粹的動物，於是看起來狼人不過是會變成狼的人而已，並沒有什麼特別之處，當然這是很西方式的人/獸二元思考就是了。
還有Von Glower這個角色似乎可以有更大的發揮，既然Ludwig都可以托夢抒發己見了，沒道理活著的人沒機會講講內心話就被解決了吧，如果他可以講講兩百多年來的寂寞的話，一定更能成功地塑造出悲劇性的壞人角色，不過這好像跟本系列的風格不符就是了。
然後Grace果然跟Gabriel有曖昧（雖然Gabriel叔公跟Gerde之間也很神秘）。XD
フルメタル‧パニック 校園篇的小說集。
賀東招二真的是很神奇的作家，本篇的嚴肅跟校園篇的搞笑完全是截然不同的風格。不過我比較喜歡校園篇就是了（笑）
這本收集的幾篇故事中，最有趣的我覺得是"間違いだらけのセンテンス"和 "時間切れのロマンス"。前者主要是因為作者對各個角色的性格掌握得非常好，而且全然地反映在他們所寫的文稿中，非常有趣。後者則是對於最後相良剪接出的影片實在太驚人了......
總之，是非常推薦的小說。本篇其實也很值得推薦，但是聽說目前劇情陷入很悲情嚴肅的情況中(畢竟主角們都還是少年，背負著那麼沈重的擔子實在很難輕鬆起來)，所以在小要沒回到相良身邊前，大概不會去看本篇吧......。
Jane Jension
Gabriel Knight系列的第一集小說。
雖然前半有很多小細節寫得很刻意（有點像攻略一般），但是後半有漸入佳境的感覺，尤其是對Gabriel的惡，以及巫毒教祭典的描寫有些部分的確令人毛骨悚然。
但是，Gabriel實在不是個討喜的角色，又因為本身是作家，有些動作戲的部分就很遜，而且又不擇手段，當他的朋友還滿可憐的。
還有最後Malia的死好像也不是很必要，畢竟Tetelo都被驅逐了，實在沒必要自殺，這樣的安排似乎是為了賦予Gabriel一種悲壯感（還有給Grace機會？XD)而已。
總之是還不錯的小說，但並不是非看不可的小說。:p
Ursula K. Le Guin
所以邪惡之源還是地球啊。或者說，只相信自己相信的事物而不允許別人相信別人相信的事物的這種思想是終極的邪惡和傲慢吧。
其實有趣的是，銀貨兩訖的Aka 精神不正是最終極的consummer-corporation嗎？這樣說來，Aka也可以說從來沒有改變。
另外，Hainish Cycle的Chronology到後來就越來越混亂了...
至於印度文化，雖是兒時極為憧憬之物，但其實印度的日常也是有醜惡的一面，這兩者之間的落差總是令我驚愕並且悲傷，尤其是為了那些被迫以死殉夫以及如貨物般被買賣的女子們。似乎越光華璀璨的瑰寶所要犧牲的人事物就越多，但悲傷的不是這些犧牲，而是從沒有人問過這些犧牲者的意願也從沒給過她們選擇的機會。
Ursula K. Le Guin
接近原始狀態的地球，中高度的文明和低度文化混雜的存在。似乎稍微揭開了一點Ecumen敵人的神秘面紗，但似乎也沒有講得很清楚。
Shing 的詭辯很有趣。
離開地球的移民者再回來後又成了外星人，造成這種隔閡的是時間也是空間，或者說，不可能有完全不會改變而同質性百分之百的種族，至少人類就是靠著這種變異在地球上生存下來的。
感覺雙方的描寫並沒有非常明顯的區隔，還是重點就在於兩個種族之間的相似性呢？即使一方擁有較高的科技，但是藉由culture embargo，兩者過的生活並沒有非常明顯的差別。
但是不可避免的，在Heinish Cycle裡頭，幾乎所有星球的原住民被描寫成類似野生動物一般的存在，或者說是像Noble Barbarians一般，他們科技低落，但是他們有自己的智慧並且總是和當地的自然環境氣候溶為一體難以分割。而Le Guin 描述他們的方式使他們變成一種標本式的存在，即使他們有行動跟說話的能力，做出價值判斷的往往都是外來的觀察者（就這一點而言，The Left Hand of Darkness就進步很多）。從某些角度看來，這樣的寫作視角是不是也不自知地體現了隱藏在WASP在表面的平等和尊重底下的傲慢呢？
Ursula K. Le Guin
除去太空航行的部分的話，這其實是一部Romance 吧。裡頭有很多描述都很符合Heroic Code. :-)
那個敵人雖然在第三部 City of Illusions 有比較詳細的描述，但其實還是不大知道是什麼樣的種族，而且就印象所及，後續的The Dispossesed和The Left Hand of Darkness也沒有更進一步的描寫。
另外，一個使節團只配戴一個ansible實在不太夠用的樣子呢（這在接下來的幾部就更明顯了）。
The Birthday of the World/Ursula K. Le Guin
合集的最後一篇故事。
裡頭描述的華裔文化和行為感覺非常的遙遠，是因為所謂的文化傳統對於一個外國人看來終究不過是一些既定印象而不存在呢，還是我（們）已經離得太遠了？
宗教果然是可怕的上癮物呢，即便是受過高等教育的知識份子也很難逃過它的誘惑，還是人類不管如何就是這麼愚蠢？
那麼失去樂園的到底是哪一方，是離開船的還是不願下地的？
或許雙方都失去了樂園也都沒失去了樂園，經過了那麼久的航行時間，人心是不可能一致的，即使盡力保持人數上的守衡並且在事前努力計算過。至少，他們在最後曾經有選擇要不要留下的機會，那麼這趟航行就不算完全失敗吧。
Ursula K. Le Guin
最近越來越覺得Le Guin的小說像是人種誌而非小說，但是還是有其樂趣在就是了，畢竟，一個種族的故事也是由個人的故事所組成的啊。
這是需要神的世界，但是他們的神跟我們的神有著不一樣的定義，於是他們需要神也不需要神，至少他們需要的是跟我們的神不一樣的事物。其實在某些方面看來，他們的神比較像是Lacan的imaginary father，是一種在所有人之上的存在，但其實並沒有這樣的存在，有的只是被賦予了這樣名號的一般人而已。
The Birthday of the World/ Ursula K. Le Guin
也是有這麼辛苦的大使啊。
自由和秩序大約也是在平衡點的兩端，而被解放的奴隸們如果沒有接受教導便會無所適從。這並不是說他們不值得自由，而是並非推翻了這樣的制度和政府自由就會來到。
The Birthday of the World/Ursula K. Le Guin
This is probably the story I like best in the book.
Eleven-Soro絕對不是舒適的好地方，但是不知道為什麼我卻覺得可以在那裡安靜的生活呢？或許是因為在那樣孤絕的狀態之下才真的能成就individuality吧。
"I am a person of this world, and a woman of my mother's people" (p.151).
The Birthday of the World/ Ursula K. Le Guin.
moiety..sedoretu..真是複雜的制度，也虧作者想得出來，不過這種制度下離婚跟再婚要怎麼辦呢？XD
The Birthday of the World/ Ursula K. Le Guin
這大概是證明，單方面的圈養跟孤立都是不健康的，不管是男性或女性。（雖然我私心覺得Seggri 本身運作的很不錯.....
但是最後的改革好像太平和了，總覺得應該更兇暴才對，還是因為大部分的男性們也很滿足於這樣的被圈養，而不願意參與解放？否則那種逞兇鬥狠的鬥爭方式用來武力抗爭的話應該會很慘烈才是。還是也是因為有Hein 介入的結果？
然後一開始的Captian Aolao-Olao's Report安排得很巧妙，貼切地表達了phalli-centered society 的觀點。
Ursula K. LeGuin.
The Birthday of World 中的第一篇。
描述的是Winter星上Gethenian 人的成年禮，順便介紹了一下Getheny的社會組織。
畢竟是相隔了20年後的作品，可以看出來強調Gethenian 中性特質的努力，另外似乎
也刻意凸顯他們思考的特質。
當然最重要的還是sexuality，畢竟Gethenian最大的特徵就是雌雄同體（笑)。但是
不曉得為什麼，主角的家族有一種Tiresias的感覺，男女性別輪流替換的樣子。:p
倉橋由美子/ 余織詩譯
這是本難以定位的書，而中文翻譯本又使定位更加困難。個人認為，英文翻譯本應該會比中文翻譯本更容易懂，舉例而言，チャーミング翻成「加米」跟翻成"charming"，哪一個意思比較貼近又比較好懂就很明顯了。但是事實上這也來自於日語本身的困難之處，我覺得譯者已經算是不錯了，起碼算通順，只是似乎缺少把正確的語義放在中文的脈絡底下而已，例如Lilliput翻成里里派特國絕對不能說錯，但終究比不上小人國來得易懂。
細節說完，來說說內容的問題吧。我必須承認，要到epilogue的時候才驚覺子宮的比喻，而且想了好久才想通，但這無損於我對這本書的評價，而是覺得經過這樣的比喻和思考之後，總算能夠稍微理解一點倉橋所想表達的東西。
文本通常是作者的實驗，雖然不能夠以科學的標準來檢驗，但一個文本的產生，尤其是小說，常常是一個作者對於一個想法的實驗而生成的。這個文本的實驗前提很簡單「如果一個世界主要的權力中樞是女人的話會怎麼樣呢？」於是出現了亞瑪諾國。但是文本的特質就是曖昧和開放性，亞瑪諾國的曖昧在於這樣一個國家/社會/團體的定位。亞瑪諾國有高度的文化發展，是P讚譽有加的國度，卻也是最後被剖腹而丟棄的畸形兒。但是我不認為這是像中文本序裡頭講的，是對女權主義的諷刺，而是單純的去設想像亞瑪諾這樣的國家/社會/團體會發展到怎麼樣的型態，會走向怎麼樣的方向，而最後又會是怎麼樣的終結。如果真要說諷刺的話，我會覺得是在諷刺更深層的、隱而不顯的父權結構跟侵略性——不管是P前往的亞瑪諾國，還是在手術台上血淋淋的「東西」，都還是父權製造出來的。亞瑪諾國的立國原因是因為莫諾卡米的侵略，而亞瑪諾夫人的「處女懷胎」計畫是由男性主導的，最後亞瑪諾國的崩毀來自於無可挽救的火山爆發，就如同亞瑪諾夫人本身無能為力只能在手術台上任人宰割，等待被注射永久安眠藥。
再回到細節問題，編輯後記裡頭提到與荻尾望都的「荒蕪世界」做比較，是滿有趣的觀點，因為都關注在子宮的隱喻上。但是荒蕪世界最後顯現出來的，似乎是造神運動（不是聖母，而是少年的夢境）的成功，這與亞瑪諾毀滅性的結尾之間的差異究竟從何而起呢？或許可以說是荒蕪世界鬆動了性別之間的價值差異，而闖出了一個（或許可稱為光明的）缺口/出路？
順帶一提，Ursula Le Guin 在 The Birthday of the World 這本短篇集裡頭有設定了一個Seggri 星球，也是類似亞瑪諾的設定，但是又稍有不同，Seggri 是科技還稱不上非常進步的星球，女人做一切工作，而所有的男性則被豢養在城堡裡頭提供娛樂和生育的機會。這現象的起因來自於Seggri星人基因上的缺陷，男性的出生率特別低，久而久之演變成了這樣的社會模式。Le Guin 的重點在強調不管被豢養的是男性還是女性，最終導致的都將不是好結果，所以Seggri星最後在Hainish科技/文化的影響下，慢慢步向了男性解放，或許稍嫌樂觀，但似乎也沒什麼不好。
王德威‧黃錦樹編
以族群為中心的小說集。面樣多重，彷彿是從各個角度去關照這樣一個問題，但我卻又覺得隔靴搔癢似的，或許雖然有著同一個主題，但是各篇不同的風格以及文學型式卻又抓走了我的注意力。
但是有一種感想是，這樣的時代其實對現代的人來說很遙遠，不是說時間上很遙遠，而是整個社會的變遷太快，年輕的一代無論有意識或無意識，幾乎都對這樣的傾軋不大有感覺了。而對我個人而言，從來質疑的就不只是整個政府和社會，而是「人類」這個物種，包括我自己。
Ursula K. Le Guin
放了一年多書頁都泛黃了才看完。
覺得描寫的最好的還是Tenar，Ged的戲份太少了。公主,Irian, 和 Azver也很可愛。 Summoner倒成了完全的壞人了（笑）。
作為地海系列的最後一本，龍都離開了，和魔戒最後精靈離開中土有異曲同工之妙吧，但是我想Le Guin的龍和Tolkin的精靈是不一樣的，前者是和人類外型不相似但共有本質的種族，後者是與人類外型相似但是與人類是不一樣的事物。精靈去除了人類的惡，完全的純善，也因此脆弱而被迫離開。龍是不一樣的，超越了人類設限的價值觀，因此才得以有選擇自由的機會而離開。
但是Tehanu是最後選擇的那個人，在她之後選擇就不存在了。
We have been walking on dragon's way, and now we're well yoked.
音樂很不錯，但是劇情頗糟，被刪改的很難自圓其說。尤其是女主角的說詞，幾乎毫無說服力。
Phantom說從沒有人給他Compassion，但舞蹈教師給予他的不就是真正的compassion嗎？而女主角說是因為Phantom的心而不愛他，可是事實上還是因為他的臉啊。
最喜歡的反倒是Mesquerade那一場。至於男女主角，無論如何都覺得他們太天真了，天真到以為有那膚淺的愛情作為藉口，就可以打破遊戲規則而不必償還代價。
第二十六段的第一句"風も吹きあへずうつろふ、人の心の花に"，被李永熾翻譯成「人心如風之未定而花已散落，種種情形，變易難測。」第一次看到李的翻譯時很喜歡「人心如風之未定而花已散落」這一句因此便截取下來當作簽名檔，沿用至今。
但是今年終於壓抑不住好奇心，將原文翻出來了。只是對日文古語一竅不通，即使翻出原文也還是不能完全確定原意，但是參考了古今和歌集部屋這個網頁後，才確定"あへず"的用法，而うつろふ可能是うつろう的古語，所以較為貼近的翻譯應該是「人心的花朵遭受不止息的狂風摧殘而凋萎。」
乍看之下會覺得李的翻譯離原意有點遠，但推敲之下，其實只是過雅而已，並未差距太大。
比想像中的好看。
雖然一開始對主線劇情的模糊稍有不耐（事實上劇情從沒清楚交代過），但是特效處理得很自然，選在民初這種中西夾雜動盪不安的時代也很有巧思。
另外，絕倒的是三位高手的喪事，明明是哀淒到不行的場景，卻硬是被蜘蛛人的台詞逗到笑出來，斷氣的那一剎那連停都來不及停。
最後，包租公跟包租婆真是太棒了。:-)
看起來滿有趣的，不過我還是最喜歡Kid's Story 和 Detective Story 這兩段，雖然故事性都不強，但是風格很強烈，並且似乎闡明了Matrix所模擬的世界是多重而且複雜的，但是老話一句，總覺得日本人的動畫似乎有個難以打破的障礙，也就是對女性身體的執著，其他的段落都可以說是the matrix選擇決定性別，但是在Program跟Osiris裡頭可以發現，即使在虛擬實境裡頭可以選擇自己想要的外貌跟特徵，卻很少會去想到改變性別。
或許這只能說，身體的性徵真的是人類與生俱來最強大也最不容易被查知到的界線吧。
by Rafik Schami
中文譯成「大馬士革之夜」
典型的阿拉伯文體，故事中套著故事。但是很好看，很久沒看這種輕盈的書了，還因此捷運坐過頭。
七個故事，七個夜晚。還有許許多多輕盈行走的人，他們是如何度過火焰般的夏日以及更為嚴酷的日常？
而其實我們用語言區隔彼此之間的距離，而且微妙難以衡量。例如，沈默是心有靈犀還是無話可說。例如，滔滔不絕是口若懸河還是無心傾聽。
我已逐漸停止重複過去的事實，那些「她」們的故事，也只是變成心底的喃喃自語，有一天，它們會迴旋而上，成為衝破水面的細小石頭，真有那麼一天的話，希望它們都覆著一層溫潤水光，無論有沒有人看見。
這部作品的精彩之處大概在Beowulf走進Heoreot 之後就結束了，失去了展示各種神秘武器用法的場所之後，只會後空翻的男主角實在沒有什麼吸引力。之後的觀賞樂趣大概就在於比較原作跟這次改編的差別之處吧。
不過音樂詭異得還滿不錯的，觀眾服務也作得很徹底.....
但是除非吃飽閒閒沒事作，沒看做原作的人還是不建議去看就是了。
士郎正宗。
DVD看來比漫畫精緻許多。然後士郎正宗果然很喜歡扯斷手。女生畫得很美，Deunan跟瞳的笑容看起來有時魅得太過火了，不知道是士郎正宗還是導演的意思。
Deunan跟Briareos感覺有素子跟巴特的影子在，差別在於Deunan是人類而已，女生不管是Bioroid、人類還是cyborg似乎都是美麗的人偶型態啊（只限外型），這是基於服務觀眾的心態還是一種不自覺的美化心理呢（笑）
色調上明亮得讓我終於能夠區隔出和押井守的作品的不同之處，但是有時候劇情似乎進行得太過流暢了，感覺有點單薄而感受不到士郎正宗典型的資料過剩帶來的遲滯感，這是優點吧（？）
角色們的名字除了男女主角外似乎都隱含著能夠影射彼此關係的深意。然後オリュンポス這名字取得真是好，比起哲學家紀律嚴謹的Utopia或者天真脆弱的Eden，還是眾神活躍的Olympus好，而且又沒有Asgard那般有著灰暗結局的預期（真的沒有嗎:P)，而希臘的神祇有著超人般的能力卻又像普通人類那般反覆無常，不正是這裡頭世界的寫照嗎？
而完全活性化後的Bioroid會不會慢慢墮落到人的地步，那就是另一個故事了吧。
還滿精彩的電影。但是還是素子成熟的個性比較迷人啊～:Q
Regardless of Sex: Men, Women, and Power in Early Northern Europe.
Carol J. Clover
Clover是Beowulf老師很欣賞的學者之一，之前看了她的另一篇文章 "The Germanic Context of the Unferth Episode"也對她的印象很不錯，所以當時在資料庫看見這篇文章時就順手下載來看了。
但是看了之後有點失望。當然不是對於論證的部分，Clover的論證細密（以及note長度XD)是有目共睹的，我想我還沒有資格批評或說些什麼。令我失望的是整篇的tone，誠然那個時代的女性並非軟弱無力以及單純被侷限，但是他們能夠發揮能力的、以及判斷出她們有沒有發揮出能力的標準，都是依著男性的標準而定的，而因此就很容易衍生出「留下名字的女性那麼少是因為值得留下名字的女性太少了」的聯想，而這樣的標準根本就是不合理的，即使女性的確有發揮那樣能力的空間，她們被認可的成績依舊是被排在男性之後，就像她們可以flyting，但是最後她們一定輸掉。我是結果論者，因此不得不質疑，如果女性最後被安排的位置一定是輸家/次等的位置上的話，她們有沒有發揮的空間不是一點關係都沒有嗎？而毫不質疑當時父權主導的價值體系，而沾沾自喜地說也是有女性大施拳腳的機會，這樣我覺得是落入了LeGuin所說的，陷入了男性遊戲規則的迷宮裡。
我還是覺得Hilderburh跟Wealtheow很可憐，不是因為她們是peace-weaving的犧牲者，而是因為她們的整個思想與行動顯然被單一的價值觀所箝制了，沒有其他的可能性。
Welcome back, Mr.McDonald - Radio no jikan
很有趣的電影。（但是為什麼google到的網站都是德文@@)不過看到結局之後，好像就會覺得一開始對劇作家的同情是不必要的？（笑）
不過像這種現場的廣播劇要完完全全依照劇本來的確是很難的啊，完全沒有重來的機會。不過貨車司機的安排很妙，雖然一開始不知道他是出來作什麼的，但事實上卻代表了另一個層面的聲音。
另外，唐澤壽明也有看起來這麼年輕的時候啊:p
咳咳、前一陣子沈迷的遊戲。
人物滿可愛，語音陣容也滿堅強的（保志總一郎的聲音會不會太好認XD)。設定也算有趣，所謂的賢者就是帶小孩子打仗啊....
裡頭的女孩子們都很可愛，不只是畫得很可愛，而是想法上，動不動就說「為了妳會全力以赴」之類的話語，怎麼說呢，感覺完全是很具蠱惑的設計啊。
另外，全破過一次之後發現可以保留現有的魔法技能和裝備再從來一次，不僅可以享受屠殺的快感，還能滿足收集狂的癖好。只是我兩者皆不是，所以就停在這裡了，還是寫報告比較實際......
這篇文章好一陣子前就不知道在哪個版看到了，
今天又在別人的版上看到漫畫書店現況轉播，說
現在漫畫書店除了小說之外，幾乎都被貼上十八
禁的標籤（連DoReMi也是XD)感覺這真是糟糕到
極點。(還有，我想知道要滿幾歲才能看逾越限
制級XD)
應該說，台灣人的偽善精神要持續到什麼時候呢？
文字或漫畫不過就是媒體而已，當然要接受管制，
但是當管制的標準模糊而不一致，甚至導致所有
的作品都不合規定時，這標準還有什麼鑒別度可
言呢？將一切都以冠冕堂皇的理由囚禁起來，表
面上說是為了大家的精神健康著想，但結果看起
來卻是如此可笑，這樣一點意義都沒有。
我不知道為什麼這些政府官員（或者家長）這麼
仇視漫畫，是因為他們覺得小孩子太容易受其中
的色情和暴力影響嗎？但是我相信這些少年犯罪
絕大部分來自於現實生活中不當的家庭教育和學
校教育，而不是這些非現實的娛樂。
如果我們的教育不能教導孩子們分辨對錯是非、
現實和幻想的差別、（今天看見高雄某中學發生
女同學畢業旅行被同學輪暴的新聞，極怒，若這
些人有心思花在禁漫畫小說上，不如去研究怎麼
把這些人渣處死刑）如果我們的教育不能教導孩
子們分辨哪些是錯的，而只是填塞他們體制想讓
他們看見的東西、如果我們的教育脆弱到會被漫
畫小說這樣的娛樂腐蝕掉，那麼之後我們的社會
會變得極為脆弱，封閉而不開放的社會就只有走
向呆板死亡一途。
我很慶幸自己已經成年，而如果我的小孩必定要
出生成長在這樣的台灣的話，我絕對不生小孩。
今天看美術手帖十一月號裡頭介紹的主題之一。感覺真是複雜，其實滿佩服參展者有勇氣拿這樣基本上還是算小眾的趣味為主題去參加國際性的展覽（難道他們都不怕日本就此被貼上標籤嗎？），但是轉而一想，或許這種對事物的執著之心才更能表現出日本的民族性吧，而且說不定該反省的是我，一直將ACG視為一種表達思考的媒介，也就是說，與其他型態的藝術（文學繪畫等）一樣，成品的好壞不在於素材上，而在於創作的人。但是一直保持著這種態度，卻還是會覺得驚奇的話，大概就是自己修練還不夠吧。XD
Encyclopedia: Old English language
因為公社掛了所以先放在這裡。感覺還滿有趣的就是了，似乎也是用wikipedia作出來的，不過沒時間仔細看。
唉唉，其實覺得不好看，可是為了真田廣之還是看了下去。但是為什麼真田廣之掛了之後還有半小時啊.....
編劇真的有研究過印地安文化嗎？他們出草割人頭應該不像湯姆小強講的那樣帶有極端恨意，而是有儀式性（ritual）的意義的。還有湯姆小強最好都要上戰場了才穿鎧甲，之前沒有練習居然不會被壓死，根本就是為了接吻鏡頭設計的吧。片尾那個大使居然對一國元首說出「蠻橫無禮」....不過既然是美國大使的話，說不定真的會說出這種沒大腦的話。
不過還是有值得讚賞的地方啦，至少對武士文化的介紹比普通講幕末時期的漫畫淺很多，很容易懂就是了......不過不知道這部片呈現出來的武士文化有沒有經過扭曲就是了，感覺其實與Germanic Heroic Culture有點像，只是更為細緻。但是也因為被呈現的方式很淺顯，有些文化接觸時的矛盾和衝突也感覺被太輕易帶過。終究是Hollywood。
唉，真田廣之台詞真少。唉，我的兩個半小時。
攻殼第二部電影版，劇情延續著第一部，所以少佐只有聲音出場（可是少佐的聲音真有魅力啊:Q)。
劇情的主要重心是在魁儡（人形、機器人）上面，新出場的是巴特的愛犬Gabriel（巴吉度～～～（大心）。或許這也對應到Haraway想說的：動物、人、機械之間的界線正在模糊中。少佐就不用說了，已經成為網路上廣大無比的生命體；巴特、金、甚至哈拉維驗屍官（雖然驗的是人形機器人XD)其實都在機器和人的界線上徘徊不定；巴特對營救出來的少女不以為然，事實上也是對於自己本身已經不再是單純的人所做的自覺吧，也就是他已經對身上已經屬於機器的那一部分產生認同和感情，也開始尊重起那些因人為程式出錯而自毀的人形機器人；而德古沙最後送給女兒的人形（洋娃娃）又和在巴特肩上搖著尾巴的Gabriel形成了對照。
當然也延續著押井守一貫的風格，例如警力之間的對立（不過既然叫做公安九課大概就免不了吧）和陰險的台詞。特效因為最近日本動畫在這一方面實在是太傑出了，所以似乎不大值得驚訝。而台詞內常出現的引用雖然暗示了外部裝置的功用，但事實上在第一部電視版的最後少佐和笑面男（Aoi）的談話中，就出現了這個傾向，所以也不是創舉。但是我覺得值得讚賞的是安排了哈拉維驗屍官這個角色，明確地指出這部電影所講的範圍限制在人形機器人上面，並沒有抹煞非人形機器人的存在。
那麼到底標題innocence所指的是什麼呢？是少女和其他被誘拐的孩子的ghost、那些無辜死去的人形機器人、巴特替換成機器的那些肉體、還是他所失去的少佐？Innocence是注定要被失去的，而且注定不能再被拿回來，所以被大多數的人所珍視著，並以一種接近虔敬的心情來懷念那段時期，如同懷念golden age或伊甸園一樣。但是我想，一定有些東西是被丟棄也不可惜的吧，那麼innocence是否也在這些東西之內呢....？
最後，聽說11/12號這部電影要在總統上映了，是絕對值得去看的。（光衝著Gabriel去也值得！押井守果然很愛狗，Gabriel的表情豐富和生動到幾乎難以想像它只是數位合成出來的影像。）
事實上去年就唸過這篇小說，不過最近又拿出來在讀書會上讀。要自己上台講果然就必須念得比較仔細，而在說的過程中，有時候又會突然有想通了某種東西的感覺，所以最近慢慢地已經不會害怕上台了，但是太多人的話還是會緊張。:p
離題了，在這幾個禮拜中，讀著讀著就想道了"Death of a Salesman" 和 "Battle Royal"。 兩者都是關於個人在社會裡頭的無力感，只是前者怪罪於社會和個人道德感的部分較多，而後者對於這部分也只是透過北野武的過去和男主角的爸爸隱晦提出而已，重點還是放在孩子們掙扎的過程上。
而Joyce的這篇小說，重點並不是放在社會上，而只是忠實
刻畫了Farrington這個人的生活，但還是不由自主的覺得
這是否就是資本主義的末路呢？無論是美國夢也好或台灣奇
蹟也好，似乎世界上絕大多數的人現在光是為了溫飽就必須
超時工作著，通貨膨脹和稅額進逼著他們，然而些人卻能夠
輕易地用懶散和鄙視的眼光來解釋他們的困境。這感覺就像
"The Dispossessed"裡頭，無產國度的主角到了資本主
義的星球，驚訝地發現收垃圾等的工作居然被認為低賤而所
得甚低，當他懷疑為什麼這些人願意接受這麼低的薪資時，
他得到的回答是:「因為低的薪資總比沒有薪資好。」這令
我悚然而驚，卻又覺得困難無解，同時生活也正在步步進
逼。
我能作什麼？又要做到什麼地步？
今天終於看完五十一話。明年要出劇場版是怎樣o_O
大佐（呃已經是准將了XD)要變成另一個大總統了嗎？:p
不過在休斯掛掉之後，大佐還真是憔悴不少。XD
Gluttony 和 Last 對於 Lust 和 Sloth 的依戀其實比人類更像人類；但丁無法被原諒的不是認為人類愚蠢，而是忘記自己也是愚蠢的。
至於光之霍恩海姆，雖然愛德華原諒了他，但是，在躲起來之前要先把自己惹出來的麻煩清掉啊，害自己的小孩東奔西跑嘖嘖。
一開始的出發是尋找，最後的出發是為了回歸。
兩個世界的設定感覺有點含混，不過若要認真挑剔的話，這部卡通大概就畫不出來了吧。就跟等價交換的原則一樣，到底是不是真理呢？若說人類的世界本來就是不完美的，而因此不可能有這樣的真理存在的話，又為何有這麼多人追求呢？所以我比較喜歡Full Metal Panic的black technology，科學和科技，也是需要魔法般的非邏輯靈感哪（笑）。
我要在這裡，以特蕾莎愛過的這副面容、這個身軀、這個型態死去。～光之霍恩海姆
It's really an interesting movie.... somewhat resembling "Down with Love" in reminiscent setting and style. And it seems that men are tired of imagining the doom of future, so they imagine the crisis of past. XD
Angelina Jollie is really cool, although her lines are few and can almost be heard in trailors...XD And her confidence reminds me of the hero's pride in Norse and Germaniac culture; she is excellent!
The lesson of the master : on Borges and his work / Norman Thomas Di Giovanni
Well, Giovanni's description of Borges is quite good and touching. However, I am somewhat confused with his intention of writing this book, in memory of the master or to justify his own translation? Anyway, for me, the later part of this book becomes not so interesting when he begins to discuss his translation.
" Wi' tippeny, we fear nae evil;
Wi' usquabae, we'll face the devil!-- "
"With twopenny of drink we fear no evil;
With whisky, we'll face the devil--"
Just go for it.:p
Visions of the Daughters of Albion, copy P, c. 1818 (Fitzwilliam Museum): electronic edition
"Oothoon weeps not."
Theotormon當然是荒謬愚蠢的，自以為受到不公平的對待與背叛，卻不知道他之所以能夠坐在洞穴門口哭喊著自己的不幸，就是因為他對Oothoon行使了更不公的暴力。
以受害者的姿態去傷害另一個受害者，這怎能叫做愛呢？當然Blake要說的不只是這些，但從這個層次看來，如此荒謬的事情卻一再發生。
只是聽到的時候還是會很想給這種人一拳，例如朋友的某學弟。以為天真幼稚地承認自己的恐懼就能逃脫責任，其實只是無法擺脫被需要的虛榮感，而讓錯誤一再發生，而無法停止愚蠢的騎士角色。如果只是不相干的人的話，或許笑笑就過去了，可是一旦是自己的朋友，就不免擔心起來。
我討厭這種男人，非常。-_-凸
不過還是要介紹一下熱血網址（笑）
雖然是Java而開得很慢，但是版畫都收了不少版本，也頗全，搜尋系統雖然很神秘，但似乎可以滿足某種研究需求，有比較選項，可以比較同一張圖的不同版本，也有註解跟內文的transcription，然後也有calibrate選項，真的很熱血。
只能說，國會圖書館該做的事情就該有這樣的規模吧。:Q
The Book of Thel by William Blake
"Wilt thou, O Queen, enter my house? 'Tis given thee to enter
And to return; fear nothing; enter with thy virgin feet.'"
對於外面混亂的世界似乎總是沒有能夠大步踏入的勇氣，
有著屬於自己的地方之後，又更不想去外頭攪和了。於是
在不得不為的情況下，總是用著勉強的腳步一小步一小步
的試探著，深怕一不小心陷入什麼為難的情況而難以身。
是的，都是為了回途，那女孩只是想要一個說服自己留在山谷的理由而已。
"If thought is life And strength and breath, And the want Of thought is death, Then am I A happy fly, If I live, Or if I die."
夏蟲不可語冰，並不只是要嘲笑夏蟲的無知，也蘊含了對用不該使用的標準來衡量事情的人的警告。
Dear Mr. Blake, you were never a happy fly; no fly is happy; a fly doesn't need happiness to live.
最近Animax在播，第一部是熱血的機器人卡通，有趣的部分很少看到。第二部就是純粹的校園搞笑了。寫腳本的常常是原作賀東昭二，看來是個有強烈反社會情節的人，可是真的很有趣（雖然暴力的場面也不少...），大推薦。
Andrew Marvell: To his Coy Mistress.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
上個禮拜的讀書會講到T.S. Eliot的The Love Song of Prufrock，裡頭對這首詩的引用非常多，所以就想用來作為下次讀書會的主題，但昨天仔細看了一下後，發現"Vaster than empire and more slow"正是Ursula K. LeGuin 的一篇短篇小說，收錄在The Wind's Twelve Quarters 跟 The Buffalo Girls 裡頭。世界真是充滿了巧合。
Jonathan Swift
我想Swift 若不是個厭惡人類的人，也至少是個憤世嫉俗的人。所稱頌的是馬，而前三部分即使到的是奇異的國家，卻也是在顯示人類極端的面向，以及其中的可笑。兒童讀物的版本裡頭想必刪減了不少片段吧。也實在很難想像Laputa居然成了天空之城的來源，這兩座浮游島所呈現的調性根本是天差地遠哪。
另外，Swift 也很喜歡吃人這個主題的樣子，不管是用yahoo的皮做衣服跟船帆，或者在A Modest Proposal 裡頭提議以嬰兒做為糧食來源來解決愛爾蘭的飢荒問題，都直接或間接地暗示了cannibalism。即使本意都是嘲諷戲謔的，但用的語調太過無所謂，便讓人隱隱升起恐怖感了。
lhnuwnh: to return to his first mother ~Houyhnhnms lanuguage
Getrude Stein
不知道是不是因為我無法想像歌劇的調性，總覺得反覆的台詞聽起來與其說是充滿音樂性，還不如說是角色無法控制自己的說詞，但這跟荒謬劇裡接近精神錯亂的胡言亂語又不太一樣，如果真要說的話，只能說是很神秘的劇本。
雖然一開始人物繁雜的對話有點難抓到想表達什麼，但到最後兩幕SBA的台詞慢慢突顯出主題，算是調和了前面太過喜劇化的表現吧。女人為了追求平等和權利真的會慢慢變成跟男人一樣嗎？雖然我抱持著存疑的態度，不過似乎也有點被說服呢。
總之，看得有點頭昏眼花，這種實驗性質過於濃厚的筆法對我而言太苦手了。
Sophie Tradwell
這大概是Chicago的悲情版。XD
自由是無法妥協的，沒有棄車保帥這回事，而是被外在的壓力步步進逼。而要由外在的他人得到拯救無異更是緣木求魚，並不一定說是別人沒有意願而是往往自顧不暇。誠然女主角的丈夫步步進逼，但乖順承受的人不也是自己該負擔起責任？
另外，後半對新聞的描寫還真是傳神。兩種記者兩種截然不同的講法，卻都離真相越來越遠。
Ursula K. LeGuin
"To Sleep, perchance to dream..." 這還真是科幻小說喜歡引用的句子呢。
書中引用了不少老子跟莊子，但主題還是不少二元對立: being and doing, Orr and Haber, human and alien
Heather的性格被刻畫得很鮮明，但出場的機會有點少，而且並不像Orr 跟Haber那樣明白真實的改變過程，所以她在每一次的夢裡面都被改變。我想她是作者筆下很典型的一種女性，勇敢、直率、敏捷、但對於書中的情節（或者說被男性把持著的知識）缺乏認知或沒有途徑去認知，而依靠著直覺行動，看起來好像不是很重要，卻成了主角的救贖或者在靜默之中改變了結局或世界。
當然，這是比較早期的女性形象，除了Heather之外，從地海的Tenar跟The Day Before revolution的Laia也能看得出來，而之後Tehanu跟另一位變成龍的女子又是不一樣的形象了。
George跟Haber當然是非常鮮明的對比，Orr就可以不用提了，Haber則是我最討厭的那種人，用著不屬於自己的能力，以及大義凜然的藉口，大大方方的改變世界，成功了就認為是自己的功勞，失敗了就怪罪到他人身上。事實上他只是想掌控世界而已，而Orr每次作的夢都讓世界變得更糟的原因不是因為他下的指示不夠明確或是Orr潛意識裡要跟他作對，而是因為他不瞭解世界的運轉方式是複雜而難以操控。If anything could go wrong, it would.
而用夢改變世界，實在很難不令人想到毘濕奴啊。另外，裡頭的外星人感覺很可愛的樣子，不是說外型，而是說話的方式和行為。:p
Ursula K. LeGuin
二元對立: Anarres and Urras; 過去和現在。果然不少人都會被二分之一理論迷惑。:p
Shvek早期的遭遇令人心有戚戚焉。但是再怎麼純粹的理想主義者所建立的社會文化，到最後依然會變質，最強大的敵人永遠是人性跟時間。即使是非義務的合作關係，依然有著約束，甚至會有不合理的要求，但在從小的教育以及無形的制約當中，很少能夠真的發現這種弔詭的關係，於是就渾渾噩噩過一生。
而人都有排斥異類的心態，如同今天早上朋友剛說的「聰明變成一種原罪」，即使是無政府主義的Anarres，也會出現Sabul那樣的人，能夠透過另一種方式得到權力。或許，只要是有「價值」的存在，不管是資本主義或者無產主義，就不能免於評斷的機會，central or better 都不過只是術語的轉換而已，基本上是一樣的東西，比較不差跟非常差的差別而已。
能夠想像我們其實都能自由來去嗎？事實上我們的確是可以，所有的限制，諸如工作、朋友、家庭、情人，不過是藉口，實際上是因為害怕，為了生存和安適甘願被生活豢養。然而這並不是什麼可恥的事情，就如同Shvek最後還是回到Anarres，因為有Takver還有其它人等著他，那是他的家，可以感覺到幸福的地方，自由終究也不過是一種選擇而已，願不願意為其犧牲什麼都是個人的意願。可恥的是如同Rulag那樣為了反對而反對，以及其它因為選擇和自己不一樣就排擠陷害他人的人。
在一個中心思想是革命和自由思想的文化裡頭，沒有人有資格叫別人為叛徒。
事實上前面的部分有些老套，但是看到後來Shvek跟Terra大使談到Anarres的那一段時還是滿感動的。
另、Hain跟Terra真是好用的dues ex machina...
Ursula K. LeGuin
這不是一個人的故事，而是一整個種族(people)的故事，整本書由四種文體:Text(Stone Telling), Record (history, romance, poetry, drama), analysis. Pandora's narrative,的不規則順序構成，由各個不同的角度去窺探生活在Shinsan這個地方的人們的生活、文化、和社會現象。
Kesh這個民族並不是Noble Savage, Shinsan也不是理想國，他們有著自己的迷信，但也有著自己的科學，他們被另一個種族視為野蠻人，但他們只是去檢視、及用自己的方式來面對生存所需的慾望而已。
但實在不是本好閱讀的書，只是若肯花心思去查的話，可以學到不少動植物或礦物的名稱就是了。（不過我是很懶的:p)
Willaim Congrave
雖說是喜劇，但實在不太有趣哪，對話太過冗長蕪雜，重點太容易遺失。不過大概可以說是Wilde的前身吧。
但是那些複雜的感情糾紛無異是吃飽太閒，沒事把生活搞得那麼麻煩作什麼呢？
In vino veritas: In wine, truth.
Unsula K. LeGuin
recurring theme: wholeness...
不刻意培養個體差異的clone，感覺有點詭異，不過既然目的是要創造出合作無間的團隊，也就好像可以理解了。不過十個人一下只剩下一個還真是淒涼，難怪會適應不良。XD
#April in Paris
這還真是熱鬧...不過過得高興就好了。
#The Masters
反智的社會真可怕...但會不會是知識份子的被害妄想症呢？
#Darkness Box
黑暗使得我們更為珍惜陽光；離別讓人們更珍惜回憶。
#The Word of Unbinding
為自由所付出的死亡果然是需要勇氣的，但死亡也是無法控制的，在那裡等著的到底是什麼沒有人知道。
#The rule of Names
結尾有種神秘的明快感，龍果然是不受任何規則束縛的。
#The Good Trip
主角在嗑藥之前就已經精神恍惚了吧...
#Things
為物欲所束縛嗎？但從結局看起來，若不是主角相信自己親手作的事物，又怎麼能遇到最後的那艘方舟呢？
#A Trip to the Head
失去記憶的人總是千方百計想找回來，明明知道後悔的機率很大，卻還是如此。
#The Stars Below
Bord還真是搶眼的配角，雖然出場不久就被抓去審判了。
#The field of vision
糟糕..我覺得要是換成我也會做出同樣的事情..
#The ones who walk away from Omelas
用一個小孩的不幸來換全城的繁榮...還真是商人式的想法呢。可以拿來辯論的好題材吧 我想。
#The Day before revolution
another recurring theme: 從光榮/理想到垂暮時面對生命。拿Laia跟Tenar作對比應該也是很有趣的一件事。
Ursula K. LeGuin
這種天氣還滿想去Winter星球住的，夏天啊...
用Harth 跟 Ai兩人視角交錯的架構很有趣，充分地展示了兩種不同社會架構裡頭的對比和差異。中間穿插的一些Gethen故事跟記錄的敘事除了提供Karhide社會更多的理解之外，很多也巧妙地呼應到了Harth身上（例如他的名字，以及他與他兄弟Arek之間應該是有過什麼但沒有被寫出來的故事）。
比較弱的地方就是Karhide跟另一個國家的對比沒有很細膩，畢竟敘述集中在Karhide，然後兩個國家裡頭小孩和父母的互動與教育的敘述上也沒有很清楚。
另外比較無趣的感想但可能比較值得注意的地方：1. wholeness/太極 2. The weaver -> spider imagery
From Wind's Twelve Quarters
by Ursula K. LeGuin
雖然是因自己的良心而退位離開了，但在之前不把隱憂拔除果然是不行的啊。既然會對這一任的王催眠，又怎麼不會催眠下一任的呢？還是說，是因為和腦中按勢的抵抗而精疲力竭了呢？
但是還是很好看，Androgyne的設定實在是太讚了。努力繼續看 The Left Hand of Darkness. A_A
Ursula K. Le Guin
呃...真好看。有種受到震撼的感覺。主角有點像雷斯林，但是並沒有被塑造得那樣的英雄主義，反而比較像是團體暴力下的產物。他當然是令人憎恨的，但是他只是反射出別人的感情而已。當然，若只是僅僅如此的話，這個故事只會引起讀者的同情而已。而不僅僅是如此的原因是，主角的行為出自於他自己的選擇。他知道只要他能夠做出別人想要的行為，情況會和平許多，但是，何必呢？這一切不是他開始的，何況，會因為他行為改變而感受到和平的也只有別人而已。因為他能接收的是不能造假的感情，於是表面的和平便沒有意義了。
他選擇了不去迎合或轉變他人的情緒，而是忠實地把他接收到的表現出來。無法接受的不是他，而是別人。
昨天去了微風廣場看，座位很舒服。
劇情一貫惡搞路線，從好萊塢到奧斯卡，嘲諷的東西多得很，當然還少不了童話故事。
貓裝無辜的眼神真的太惹人憐愛了。XD
可以一直維持著原來的本質，雖然願意犧牲但終究可以回到本來面貌，並且有著美好的結果，這難道不也是一種童話？
Ursula K. Le Guin
算了算有十七個故事，目前進度第一個。
Semley's Necklace
混和著殖民主義跟浦島太郎氣味的故事。
顯然那些星際探險家借給穴居人的是低級航行技術，
才會飛到母船就要花個九年。劇情對照著現在正在
看的Mythopoesis感覺真辛酸，英雄果然是要犯下罪
的嗎？而但是，即使結果終究是悲劇（但是這不是
她能控制的啊），即使就旁人看來動機太過愚蠢，
她出發尋找那條項鍊真的是錯的嗎？如果是一個男
性去尋找失落已久的家傳寶物，感覺是不是就會截
然不同？
畫質不太清晰..眼睛看得很吃力Q_Q
字幕也不太清晰，感覺有些東西漏掉了（例如歌詞），
但是殘破的德文聽力是聽不出來的（淚）。
至於劇情...還真有點不知道該不該同情男主角。
雖然很有知識份子的氣概和自尊，他終究還是受
到迷惑了，被女主角和其他人的讚美捧得飄飄然，
沈浸在英雄主義的光環裡，以為解救了公主，卻
不曉得自己正走向無可挽回的錯誤。
而事情總是可以變得更糟，在他終於下定決心拋
棄自尊成為小丑的時候，卻又必須回到錯誤開始
的地方（也是故事結束的地方），無法逃避又無
法面對，再加上外在刺激（外遇），就造成了最
後的毀滅。
那麼在這三言兩語就可以帶完的故事裡頭，究竟
要表達什麼意涵呢？（既然跟表現主義有關，似
乎就不得不問一下這個問題。）或許是要表達知
識份子的脆弱，在剝除社會賦予的光環之後，他
們其實跟普通人一般（甚至更加）無力。而事實
上我一直都無法太喜歡表現主義，太強調想表達
的訊息，有時不免流於教條主義，並且在形式上
有時也處理的太過粗糙了。
----
另外，在電影開始前，去看了故宮展示的奏折硃
批，裡頭介紹的看板上，把冊翻成Book，卷翻成
Volume。
查了一下Merriam-Webster
Book:1 b : a set of written, printed, or blank sheets bound together
into a volume
這樣看來兩者意義上大概互通，故宮的翻法大概也是無可厚非吧。
美女跳舞真是賞心悅目（呆）
套句 The Cid 裡頭西班牙公主的心聲，大概
就是「你們兩個趕快在一起就什麼事都沒有了。」
男主角感覺很沒用...兩位女主角相比之下就
堅強許多。Parvati的媽媽真是看得過份清楚
的人，然而這樣還是不能阻止悲劇的發生。
然而不知道是不是文化的隔閡，對於他們的
遭遇實在沒辦法太過同情（除了姜佐穆琪之
外）。
富麗堂皇的屋宇，透明幽藍的瀑布，燈火通
明的夜晚，霧氣滿盈的清晨，這些就和潛藏
在其中的大英帝國殖民主義以及階級制度的
幽靈一般，攤在陽光底下就失去了那種懷舊
的氣味和色調，更遑論隨處可見的雙重標準。
One can object, but can't deny it.
我突然想到陳森的品花寶鑑，這樣看似前衛的題材到底是因為
作者真的有這樣的省思和想法，還是只是偽裝著開放，用看似
寫實反諷的筆法，宣導傳統的道德教條？
或者說，反正就是樂趣為上，也不用太在意了？
（啊不過品花寶鑑是真的很無趣~_~）
大概是已經知道情節了，讀起來比較不費力一些。
然後覺得有趣的是其實是裡頭的德文字源。
"So mote I goon": So might I walk: an oath
"Men shold wedden after hir estat,
For youthe and elde is often at debat."
(men should merry according their condition,
for youth and age is often at debate.)
該說是紅顏禍水還是說自己不聽從勸告呢？
故事情節似曾相識，我到底是之前看過沒有...
"I can't find the fair words
that would shed the light of knowledge
for my husband Fedlimid,
even though it was the hollow
of my own womb that hawled.
No woman knows what her womb bears."
Fedlimid: Derdriu's father
Cathbad: the prophet/bard
Derdriu: the girl who would bring evil
Conchobor: king of Ulster
Noisiu: the warrior Derdriu loves and elpes with
Eogan: king of Fernmag, who murders Noisiu
Fergus: renowned hero
Leborcham: a satirist
Emain Macha: Conchobor's royal stronghold
the land of Alba: Britain
Indel: Noisiu's mother
bookofjoe: After The Dinner Party - by Robert Penn Warren
Stongly recommend Silent Sigh/Badly Drawn Boy as the BGM.
還想著自己還年輕呢，卻已經踏在墳墓裡了。
試著抓住什麼卻都停不住，再機智再憤慨再
溫柔地探詢著什麼都來不及了，時間將一切
壓成灰燼，這秒鐘還閃亮亮地帶著火光的餘
韻，下一秒就被吹散了毫無蹤跡。究竟能索
求什麼呢？還是可以盡情懷抱著希望——只
要體認到那不一定會實現——就可以了嗎？
而這不是比一直絕望下去需要更大的勇氣嗎？
墳墓底的睡眠真的無夢沈靜嗎？
說到進化，印象最深的當然是是「我們都一樣，那就是進化。」 安‧克萊朋/ 藍火星
出自科幻小說的這句話，看來卻有種反科學的味道。但是，不知從哪看來的，說是即使各個物種在千萬年的時間裡頭演化成各種不同的態樣，然而維持的生物平衡性卻沒多大改變。從這角度看來，或許進化的確是種不會改變的事情也說不定。
而「那就是由不得你選擇的。誰都沒辦法依自己的喜好去選擇進化。那跟洪水、雪崩和地震之類的很類似。不遇到就不知道，遇到了又無法抵抗。」這句話說的實在很妙，也給了我一種宿命論的感覺。或許就是因為命運我才會此刻身在電腦前面打著這些文字吧。而若生物的生命都只是為了那億萬中選一的進化的話，會不會太過空虛了呢？換言之，不屬於進化而被淘汰掉的個體，是不是就沒有價值呢？
而我們根本就無法知道自己是不是生存者。或許不只遇到了無法抵抗，我們根本就不知道自己遇到了沒有。
橘裕。
感覺劇情跟以前差很多的作品，不過看了之後倒是心情很好，雖然才出到第二集而已。:P
主角總共兩男兩女，兩個男的學過劍道，兩個女的則是實戰經驗豐富...簡單的說，這部漫畫其實充斥著暴力傾向。:D
除了平尾之外（這傢伙長的帥歸帥，肯認真又有實力，但是實在很沒用，很少看到漫畫裡的學生會長是這麼沒用的人哇哈哈），其它三個主役都很有魅力，另外不算主角的雙胞胎弟弟們也很有趣...
總之，是一部很有活力的漫畫，雖然不可避免的是之後一定會出現沈重的劇情（其實前兩集就隱隱約約提到了XD)。
期待第三集。
End of the series....
Well, at least I feel relieved to see 草薙 alive.
Though atcually I also feel somewhat sympathy to those soldiers who fought section 9. Although they did it unrightously, they did it under proper orders for them.
This episode begins with ドクサ's monologue and ends with conversation of 草薙 and 笑い男. This arrangement quite interestingly (or ironically) illustrates the concepts 孤 and 個. The most isolated character, ドクサ, can preserve his unique personality, but is confined to his own solitude, being deprived of his access to information (情報）. On the other hand, 草薙 and 笑い男 could represent those who are immersed in the virtual world and those who encounter the danger of losing one's own identity through 並列化, (likeタチコマ). To connect to the outer world means the probability of being influenced and changed. Changing isn't bad for evolution, but changing toward the same direction (並列化) in fact is potential threat to the survival of a species, since the purpose of 並列化 is to have equal quantity of information and thus to become the same. And that's what 笑い男 really cares about: individuality and existence.
To his(in fact, her) question, 草薙 gives one probable solution: imagination. Though she doesn't elaborate on how imaginaton would/could free human beings from the prison of information, this is quite epiphanical. And yet, I am not as optimistic as them. Through the net and ghost hack, every thought, fantasy, or imagination would spread as a kind of information (remember the director?) as soon as possible. Though information could serve as inspiration sometimes, burying oneself in the sea of information, it would be difficult for an individual to develop his/her own imagination. What's more, as 笑い男 said, even 草薙 became one fake of 笑い男 during the process of prosecuting 薬島. In fact, ドクサ also imitated 笑い男 in the desperate state of mind (fortunately stopped by バトー at the last moment) and he definitely is the one with the most individuality in Section 9, without much cyborg operation and with much human thinking. Being forced or not, loss of individuality seems inevitable.
Philip Pullman
Because of the armored bear Iorek, I would give this trilogy more credit.:P
Most times I don't like works with too much Christian implication and this is no exception, though I do like the idea of multiworlds. But still, no one wouldn't think of Adam and Eve when Lyra and Will kissed and hugged in the forest .
Moreover, the characterization is also somwhat blurring. Lyra is said to fulfill her destiny by lying and betrayal, but it seems that her mother is far better at that-- and both of her parents are passionate, strong willed figures, but also full of incongruity. And as for the Dr. Malone, I doubt her participating in the journey is just to lure Will back to his world, lest he should stay with Lyra and spoil the "tragic" or artificially sacrificial ending.
For me, this trilogy is full of wonder--small wonders, like Gallivespians' dragonflies(wouldn't anyone think of Gulliver's travell?) and the armored bear Iorek (recognizing the Danish pirate fierceness in the name?). But as the story advances, it becomes gradulally dull, lengthy and falling apart. Perhaps the intention for another Paradise Lost is admirable, but apparently the adventure fails in the end.
"Maybe sometimes we don't do the right thing because the wrong thing looks more dangerous, and we don't want to look scared, so we go and do the wrong thing just because it's dangerous. We're more concerned with not looking scared than with judging right."
~Will
A scary movie.
The plot/theme is kind of melodramtic, but whoever the directore is, he/she did a good job to make the scene/transition scary.
What's the movie talk about? Just how the middle class men could degenerate and how they are devoured by their own greed.
That's all.
I.G - STAND ALONE COMPLEX - ��18�b �Љ�
暗殺の二重奏
The first thing is Japan's image. It's obvious in SAC other powerful countries are satirized, like CIA. And this time it is China.
Although it is not proclaimed clearly, judging from the pictures, apparently China must have been the bad one in the previous war, just like Japan in WWⅡ.
So, what would this mean, patriotism or shameless accusation? Or I shouldn't be so serious since it's only fictional plot?
The second thing would be closer to the main theme of GITS. Memory vs personality; thinking vs action. A man could resurrect from death (even on his own son!) through the memory stored in the electronic brain. The influence that the electronic brain might work upon human beings' styles of existence now is gradually showing up.
People are now free to choose to live without body (like the director) or to die with will to live (like辻崎). The borderline between life and death thus is blurred. And it's more and more difficult for a person to claim to be a being with unique and independent thinking since it's so easy to rewrite the memory and to hack into the brain.
Of course, this is still fictional plot. And this kind of technique would arouse much controversy of ethics (much more than that of human cloning, I think) in real life. However, for me, this kind of problem is worth imagining and wondering.
#16 心の隙間 Ag2O
There's nothing which can justify one's degeneration. One can fail, but that won't make one's corruption acceptable. Never want to get away with what you have done by bad excuses, that's useless.
By the way, the mead looks delicious....
#15 機械たちの時間 MACHINES DESIRANTES
I agree with Major that emotion or thinking is a fatal drawback for a weapon...but タチコマ is so cute... must they retire?Q_Q
#14 全自動資本主義 ¥€$
“この国を今一匹の亡霊が徘徊している．資本主義という名の亡霊が”
フェム and Major somehow look alike, and I was kind of confused, unable to determine who's who. :P
The last scene in which the screne of Togusa's wife's computer aroused some discussion between OnlyBlue, davidyu, and me. Is it only an irony or echo to the them capitalism or is it that the computer is hacked? I prefer the former interpretation, thougth.
By the way, I really begin to be fond of バトー. :D
#13≠テロリスト NOT EQUAL
ohoh exciting game.
Time is really a myth, nothing would go as one intends. If one thing would go wrong, it would.:P
Ghost in the Shell
Standalone COmplex
#12タチコマの家出 映画監督の夢 ESCAPE FROM
タチコマはかわいいね。でも、家出に至ってはやりすぎるんじゃない？9課の誰かに苛めたんですか？それども、やはり天然のオイルのせいですか？：P
Still a peaceful episode. I agree with the director; it's the most convenient way to realize one's dream in one's mind. But, no justification, this does help lazy people escape from realistic barriers and perhaps could be called as cheating.
(Well, I may be too serious, haha.)
Pluto
#11 亜成虫の森で
トグサはまだまだですよ、一人前に。
No matter children or adults, human beings are all confined more or less, well, in prisons built by humans themselves, with excuses or reasons. Just like the facility, while it claims to do good for those children who can't adapt to the outer society, it also uses children's talent for its own end. Another example is the movie/manga BR, those who created the game should play it first if the end of the game is so justified as they claimed. Next time when critics want to criticize youths or children for any weakness, I hope those "sages" could think about or , better, give any explanation for this sick soceity structured by themselves.
These days I become more tolerable with selfishness. I think I do become mature. However, I become more intolerable with hypocrisy, incongruence and excuses at the same time. Call me cynical, I won't mind.
Well, well, compared to Jungle Cruise, this episode llooks like a happy bivouac. :P
Major is really cool and I find that I am indeed fond of バトー, who's kind of funny in this episode. By the way, タチコマ is very cute in some way, like naughty children. :D
Pluto
#10 密林航路にうってつけの日
In this episode バトー is really cool. And I assume the playwright doesn't like CIA much. :P
(USA may be the largest terrorism state, under ignorant democracy it's prabable!)
Missing in the jungle, there is no exit. Resuming the nonexisting war, killing innocent people, indeed the killer commited crime. But the CIA which wants to conceal the fact that it produced the killing and cruel war is shamelessly guilty.
Stand Alone Complex #9
This episode is excellent, especially the virtual chatting room. And the manner of the debate is somewhat near that of the original manga, complex and changing.
Moreover, there's another interesting viewpoiint about the sex of the 笑い男. If one uses the male 義体, then even one has female ghost/soul originally, it would be hard to determine one's sex. Perhaps only with such consciousness of confusing sex identity can a soceity reach sexual equality. (I know, I know, I am too innocent and people always find their ways to torture others. But well, it's just a conjecture.)
Ursula K. Le Guin
destruction, desolation; something we may never think during the passion of war.
At Meta Lake
There are no mirrors here.
This is a labyrinth where none of the ways leads in or out
but all the arrows point the same direction .
It is easy to compare to Hell,
but then where are you?
Hell has to do with justice.
This has not.
This has nothnig to do with us at all except as we are fir, are fern, are trout, are jay, are elk.
The bones of deer are in this ash.
This is not punishment.
We have no claim on it. It does not regard us.
Our crimes can only imitate.
It is we who hold the mirror up.
This is not Hell.
I don't know why; it's just difficult for me to appreciate Shakespeare.
Anyway, let tragedy be tragedy, life be life.
"She loved me for the dangers I had passed,
And I loved her that she did pity them." --Othello
"But words are words. I never yet did hear
That the bruised heart was pierced through the ear." --Brabanzio
"She has deceived her father, and may thee." --Brabanzio
"It's sillness to live when to live is torment; and then have
we a prescription to die when death is our physician." --Roderigo
"For I am nothing if not critical." --Iago
"If that the earth could teem with woman's tears.
Iachdrop she falls would prove a crocodile." --Othello
"Then must you speak
Of one that loved not wisely but too well,
Of one not easily jealous but, being wrought,
Perplexed in the extreme; of one whose hand
Like the base Indian, threw a pearl away
Richer than all his tribe; of one whose subdued eyes,
Albeit unused to the melting mood,
Drops tears as fast as the Arabian trees
Their medicinable gum" --Othello
squadron: a unit of military organization:
prattle: : to utter or make meaningless sounds suggestive of the chatter of children
taper: : a slender candle
promulgate: : to make known by open declaration : PROCLAIM
unbonneted: bareheaded
palpable: perceptible
Anthropophagi: man-eaters
alacrity: promptness in response
descry: discover
egregiously: distinguished
infirmity: frailty
ocular: done or perceived by the eye
Sheepwell/ Lope de Vega
well, well, this kind of things happens. We live; we oppress and are oppressed. Human beings just can change the way they do things.
"For after all, all they want after giving us so much trouble is their pleasure at night and our sorrow in the morning."--Laurencia
"Only women know how to take revenge. We shall drink the enemy's blood."--Pascuala
harangue: lecture
ghoul: a legendary evil being that robs graves and feeds on corpses
marquise: a gem or a ring setting or bezel usually elliptical in shape but with pointed ends
bluster: : to utter with noisy self-assertiveness
licentiate: : an academic degree ranking below that of doctor given by some European universities
coxcomb: : an academic degree ranking below that of doctor given by some European universities
capon: a castrated male chicken
strut: to walk with a proud gait
dreg: the last remaining part
undaunted: courageously resolute especially in the face of danger or difficulty : not discouraged
Desiderius Erasmus
Interesting, interesting.
I believe that all happiness is sprung from folly.
"In short, I am the one that wise man must come to--
I repeat, he must come to me-- if he ever wants to
be a father."
"But to destroy the illusions in this fashion would
spoil the whole play."
"True, all these images are unreal, but this play
cannot be performed in any other way."
"True prudence, on the other hand, recognizes
human limitationsa nd does not strive to leap
beyond them; it is willing to run with the herd,
to overlook faults tolerantly or to share them
in a friendly spirit. But, they say, that is
exactly what we mean by folly. I will hardly
deny it-- as long as they will reciprocate by
admitting that this is exactly what it means
to perform the play of life."
"But shame, disgrace, reproaches, curses do harm
only insofar as they are perceived."
"Nor was there anything wrong with the judgement
of the Greek who was so mad that he sat alone
in the theater for whole days on end, laughing,
applauding, enjoying himself, because he thought
that wonderful tragedies were being acted there,
whereas nothing at all was being performed."
"They are wonderfully clever in thinking up some
new way to deceive themselves."
"No one gives thanks for escaping from folly."
"You will not die badly if you live well."
"Quite the contrary--not to be deceived is most
miserable of all."
perk up: to gain in vigor or cheerfulness.
nectar: the drink of the Greek and Roman gods.
nepenthe: Legendary drup causing oblivion.
Trophonius: Seat of a particularly awesome oracle
the isle of the Blest: The mythical and remote islands where, according
to Greek tradition, some favorites of the gods dwelt in immortality
and bliss.
moly: a mythical herb with a black root, white blossoms, and magical powers
nepenthe: a potion used by the ancients to induce forgetfulness of
pain or sorrow
Methe: Drunkenness
Apaedia: Stupidity
Philautia:Selflove
Kolakia: Flattery
Lethe: Forgetfulness
Hedone: Pleasure
Anoia: Madness
Tryphe: Luxury
Comos: Rowdiness
Negreton Hypnon: Sweet Sleep
commodity: : something useful or valued
aegis: a shield or breastplate emblematic of majesty that was
associated with Zeus and Athena
propagate: to cause to continue or increase by sexual or asexual reproduction
faunt: source
tetrad: a group or arrangement of four
pontiff: bishop
insipid: tasteless
pauper: the poor
Helicon: Mythical mountain, home of the Muses.
sanctum: a sacred place.
ineluctable: inevitable
be tinged with: to affect or modify in character
codger:an often mildly eccentric and usually elderly fellow
cadaverous: gaunt
billets-doux: love letter
litigious: prone to engage in lawsuits
asinine: of, relating to, or resembling an ass
wily: sly
nincompoop: fool
unvarnished: plain
antic: an attention-drawing often wildly playful or funny act or action
surly: arrogant
ilk: same
syllogism: a deductive scheme of a formal argument consisting of
a major and a minor premise and a conclusion
(as in "every virtue is laudable; kindness is a virtue;
therefore kindness is laudable")
parricide: killing the parents
impeccably: perfectly
exhilarated: excited
gaut: : a metabolic disease marked by a painful inflammation of the joints,
deposits of urates in and around the joints, and usually an
excessive amount of uric acid in the blood
accost: : to approach and speak to often in a challenging or aggressive way
cesspool: : an underground reservoir for liquid waste (as household sewage)
chagrin: disquietude or distress of mind caused by humiliation,
disappointment, or failure
be rife with: be abundant of
emolument: the returns arising from office or employment usually
in the form of compensation or perquisites
odious: exciting or deserving hatred or repugnance
uxorious: excessively fond of or submissive to a wife
braggadocio: empty boasting
obsequious: marked by or exhibiting a fawning attentiveness
daub with: to coat with
The prologue is more interesting than I had thought.
At least it protrayed how traumatic the process is for
the king to become so mysogynous.:p
"He has guarded me and tried to keep me pure and chaste,
not realizing that nothing can prevent or alter what is
predestined and that when a woman desires something, no
one can stop her."
"Life has two days: one peace, one wariness,
And has two sides: worry and happiness.
Ask him who taunts us with adversity,
"Does fate, save those worthy of note, oppress?
Don't you see that the blowing, raging storms
Only the tallest of the trees beset,
And of earth's many green and barren lots,
Only the ones with fruits with stones are hit,
And of the countless stars in heaven's vault
None is eclipsed except the moon and sun?
You thought well of the days, when they were good,
Oblivious to the ills destined for one.
You were deluded by the peaceful nights,
Yet in the peace of night does sorrow stun."
"Her life is forfeit to you."
The man's life in the first night's story could be
won back by three stories. Does it mean that one's
life is as cheap as words or words are as precious
as people's life?
Trepidation: Fear
deftly: detexterous
The part that mixs humanity and animal features is quite interesting, but how could one blame an animal with the Knight Measure? Anyway, it's the incongruity that is interesting.
Mea culpa!: I'm guilty
noose: a loop with a running knot that binds closer the more it is drown.
bravado: a pretense of bravery
"Sinner and prophet perish alike"
我的中古世紀詩以此結束。一切皆有幻滅時期，四大皆空。
mitsvah: sacrifice
Adonai-Yireh: Provision of the lord
iniquity: a wicked act or thing : SIN
Akedah: sacrifice
rampart: a protective barrier : BULWARK
palisade: a fence of stakes especially for defense
mace: an aromatic spice consisting of the dried external fibrous covering of a nutmeg（錘矛）
aureate: of a golden color or brilliance
mottle: : to mark with spots or blotches of different color or shades of color as if stained
fraudulent: characterized by, based on, or done by fraud : DECEITFUL
dire: exciting horror
loiter: to delay an activity with aimless idle stops and pauses : DAWDLE
bailiff: an official employed by a British sheriff to serve writs and make arrests and executions
Annwn: The otherworld of Welsh myth
grizzle: to make grayish
quim: vagina
pasty: pale
skein: : a loosely coiled length of yarn or thread wound on a reel
Vagabond's Confession
雖然是跟課本收的不太一樣的版本，但省掉打字的麻煩也就不錯了。不過仔細瞧一瞧好像又不太一樣，不管了，反正都是浪子回頭嘛。只是是不是江山易改呢？誰又在乎了。
"Since the soul in me is dead,
Better save the skin."
"She's beyong my touching? Well,
Can't the mind do duty?"
"Die to be immortal."
latticed window:格子窗
sardonyx：纏絲瑪瑙
fecundity: 多產
pinnacle：山峰
levity：輕浮
sapient：智人
venery：狩獵
Requiem aeternam:enter rest
Deus sit propitus Huic potatori:May God be gracious to this drinker
decanted:輕倒入
William IX , Duke of Aquitaine
中古世紀的情歌大膽坦蕩，但說是春宵一刻值千金，倒也有幾分傷春惜時的意味。
In the sweetness of new spring
the woods grow leafy, little birds,
each in their own language, sing,
rehearse new stanzas with new words,
and it is good that man should find
the joy that most enchants his mind.
I see no messenger or not
from her, my first source of delight;
my heart can neither sleep nor laugh,
I dar not make a further move,
till I know what the end will be--
is she what I would have her be?
Our love together goes the way
of the branch on the hawthorn-tree,
trembling in teh night, a prey
to the hoar-frost and the showers,
till next morning, when the sun
enfolds the green leaves and the broughs.
One morning I remeber still
we put an end to skirmishing,
and she gave me so great a gift:
her loving body, and her ring.
May God keep me alive untill
my hands again move in her mantle!
For I shun that strange tal which might
pull my Helpmeet and myself apart;
I know that words have their own life,
and swift discourses spread about--
let others vaunt love as they will,
we have love's food, we have the knife!
文字脫離了我的手之後就不再屬於我了呀。
我是不能信任的，我的文字也是不能信任
的，或許這才是文字之所以能拯救我的原
因？
以字為盾，以詞為劍，我保護自己，也刺
傷自己。是我所擁有的，也是不屬於我的，
生命。
penury:拮据
rung：梯子
lichen：地衣
perch：棲木
gazelle：瞪羚
eglantine：多花薔薇
cavalcade:騎兵隊
hoar：灰白色
skirmish：小爭執
Helpmeet：配偶
vaunt：誇耀
果然是凶悍的維京人本色，連臥病在床的老爹爹也不肯示弱，聽見兒子被殺死的謊言便是裝弱也要替兒子報仇，幸好沒成功。
Thorstein--Thorarin--Bjarni 之間的關係也很奇特。
為什麼Bjarni 要收THorstein 到他的牧場而不留他下來照顧Thorarin呢？
是因為這樣才能保住他在社區內的權威？還是為了免去Thorstein 當面反抗Thorarin 價值觀的機會？
1991的老片子，還滿有趣的，唔，有John Malkovich呢。
"Are these people really your type?"
"No, but they are what I could find best."
"Britans can't do Mamet; Britans do Pinter."
"Why, there are supposed to be some changes."
這種焦慮或許在脫離無憂無慮的階段後便不分性別年齡了吧，對於自己的一事無成無法感到安心，對於夢想還不肯放手卻又已經向現實屈服，想堅持到底卻明知自己的軟弱跟寂寞。
我也想改變，變得更堅強更冷漠或更軟弱都好，只有現在這樣的是自己是不行的，我清楚的明白。不是為了向誰證明什麼，只是想活得稍微輕鬆一點。
我不說「如今....」了，「如今」代表的是過去的存在，我也不說「重新開始了」，要緩慢毫無痕跡平靜順然地走入另一個階段，讓一切看來理所當然。
我希望做到，一旦分開之後，就不需要再會了。清晰明瞭毫無猶疑。
唔...我向來視小孩為惡魔，拿哲學沒輒，那麼這本書對我來說到底是...？
自虐？Maybe:P
但是還是有些有趣的東西啊，例如「一切一詞總是受限制的，至少暗中受限制。」
這真是個令人感傷卻又有趣的概念，免於人類掌握世界的意氣風發，在對未來充滿希望的文明主義之上加諸了一個消極的暗示，如果人類對自己語言的意義都在無意間加以限制的話，是不是表示其實人類無法做極端的冒險？就像再怎麼積極的革命者還是會溫馴地回家吃晚飯一樣，人類無法脫離束縛，也因此傾向尋找於宗教信仰家庭愛情等依藉？
很難懂？沒關係，哲學和人生一樣本來就是胡言亂語。
Steven Pinker
看了一下書背，發現作者是MIT的大頭~_~
唔...可以說是很有趣的書，作者旁徵博引引經據典口吻幽默風趣偶而還兼自嘲一下，怎能不有趣？而且用的字彙從艱深到俚俗，範圍之廣會讓人覺得英文不夠好該回去多背單字才行。
最有趣的一章叫做Family values。裡頭洋洋灑灑花了將近一百頁試圖從天演論來解釋親情倫理的產生。唔...崇拜天演論的人自然能說是毫無破綻，但是怎麼看都有點怪怪的啊。
該怎麼說呢。只能說作者果然是"white heterosexual male" 花費的篇幅大部分都在說男性如何如何為了後代的繁衍去戰鬥、去偷情、去確保女性的貞操跟忠誠，那麼女性呢？難道女性不會想著要繁衍後代？另外說女性會為了權勢跟今年出賣性，因為如此才能打入男性主導的圈子裡，而女性並不會特別想要性，就像中年的國會議員 並不如中年的國會女議員有吸引力，這實在是個很有趣的論點。如果說女性不如男性般對性有obsessiion，then how could women find middld-aged congressmen attractive? I mean, if congresswoman seems not as attratctive as congressmen, that's because congresswoman doesn't tend to buy sex as men do or less men tend to be bouught by women.
再如家庭暴力來自於sexual jealousy，這也是太過武斷的，有些人訴諸暴力不一定是因為被背叛（或誤以為被背叛），有時也來自於無法控制生活加諸的挫折感。最好的例子是James Joyce的Counterpart。
至於其它奇怪的論點（例如沒有解釋同性戀為什麼會存在），族繁不及備載。我想作者的盲點在於認為"the mind is created by soceity" is bad psychology. 或許大腦演化的歷史對於心智的運作的確有影響，但文化的manipulation 是不能忽視的。或許可以用天演論解釋為什麼現在某些convention 為何會出現，但是不能因此就粗率的解釋為什麼會繼續保存或被廢棄（convention changes and that's not noted) ，society and culture must play some role in this.
What I try to say last is even though all the arguments I refute are all correct in the end, the explanation is not justification. We can't say, "well, this man beats his wife for he fears that his wife would leave him, so we should forgive him." Or we can't say that for the continuing of the human race, all women should stay home, nurturing the young and waiting for the beating of men and thinking "Oh my husband beats me because he still cares for me and wants me to be near him." That's sick. If that's what natural selection wants, then I don't know why bother the culture and civilization. Human beings shouldn't evolve to human beings and write such trash, human beings should stay in the primitive age, living the animal life. And then, the earth will gain its peace again.
kith and kin: 親友
primogeniture: 長子繼承權
fetus: 三個月後的胎兒
lethal:致命的
ubiquitous:到處存在的
pulp fiction: 低級黃色書刊
原本是遊戲，所以砍人（被砍）的很爽，然而幫忙翻了結局之後，就找了電影來看。
電影很苦。讓我有一陣子（不到半天:p）沒了戰的意願。
電影當然有很多血腥畫面，但是看完後我不能否認我很想哭。一開始對於遊戲的設定「成為有價值的大人吧」很不以為然，覺得大人根本沒有理由要求小孩成為「有價值」的大人，也覺得有價值的大人根本沒幾個，而要靠這種遊戲來訓練出有價值的大人，不如讓那些已經是成人的廢物們殘殺過後，留下所謂「有價值」的成人們。
然而看完電影後，我才明白像北野武那樣的成人被孩子蔑視的悲哀。就像七原的父親，「你要加油啊，但是光叫你加油我也不知道能教你什麼。」失去了自信、也被像GTO裡頭那樣的孩子輕視，然後就靠著BR想來矯正這個現象。
當然這不能解釋什麼，反而很像是無能的政府高官們用來掩飾自己教育政策失敗的卓劣手法。這樣的比賽是無法選擇出有價值的人類的，只是讓社會多了一個殺人狂，或許不軟弱，但絕對無法過著快樂的生活。
我想說的是，這場比賽看來並不是北野武的復仇，從他的夢看來，他或許很不滿，覺得很悲傷，但是卻似乎沒有強烈的報復心，那麼他到底是用著什麼樣的心情，精準地用小刀一擊斃命那個女學生的呢？
在那樣的社會底下，人類失去了快樂的能力（現在也一樣？），或許如相馬光子（柴崎幸很顯眼）說的一樣，「每個人都有自己的理由」「不會有人來幫忙」，所以「也不想坐以待斃」但是BR很明顯地只會導致日本的終結，但是或許BR還沒出現，我們就已經不快樂了，我們憂鬱、我們堅強、我們不相信、我們苦悶、我們害怕、我們懷疑幸福的存在。
我們所惋嘆的，是自己的無能為力，無法得到幸福。
中古世紀正宗的是什麼？自然是Romance了:P
Lanval 很像中國以前的游仙故事，窮小子總是會被神秘的仙子看上，只是不同的是男主角最後沒有從問天台下來，也不像浦島太郎變成蒼蒼老人，最後跑去Avalon享福了。果然是happy ending，比童話更童話。
Laustic，Nightingale，只能說，總是如此，年輕貌美的少女總是被迫嫁給醜陋善妒的老頭，然後才來恨不相逢未嫁時，只是，那夜鶯的下場讓我想到了"The triffle"裡的金絲雀，同樣美妙的歌聲，就此活活被壓抑。
被壓抑。以前我們被父母、情人、伴侶、家庭壓抑，如今我們被整個社會體系壓抑，我們不但被壓抑，還幾乎找不到自己的聲音，懷疑自己擁有的一切是否真的存在。
ermine：貂皮
amble:緩行
palfrey：母馬
taffeta：塔夫綢
accoutred: dressed
samite：錦繡
中古世紀第二彈。XD
啊雖然現代的價值觀可能會有所不同，但是我還是覺得無法理解同情Roland 繼父的人在想什麼。個人的榮辱（況且這稱不上侮辱）比得上子民軍人的性命嗎？怎麼想都只是自己小家子氣的想除掉眼中釘而已。
catapult：投石器
jacinth：紅色礦石
amethyst：紫水晶
hauberk：鎖子甲
gonfanon：旍旗
sumpter：搬運用牲口
tenebrous：陰暗
defile：隘道
viscount：子爵
penance：補贖
來到中古時期，課本收了點可蘭經，翻翻倒也挺有趣的，雖然不是全部，
但收的部分讓伊斯蘭教看來比基督教寬容一點， 美國會被稱為最大的恐
怖份子似乎不是沒有原因的。（咦我似乎又以偏蓋全了。XD)
啊雖然是這麼說，我也不會去信伊斯蘭教就是了，太過麻煩。反正如果
真有阿拉的話，"All shall return to him" 到時再讓我受罰好了。
debar：排除
pernicious：邪惡的/pernicious practice
tamper：竄改/ tamper with the words
corroborate：證實/corroborating what was revealed before it
munificent：寬宏的:/ God is munificent
expiate：補償/expiate your broken oaths
Augustine
其實不太喜歡這種自傳性的東西。尤其是喃喃自語懺悔看了也沒什麼感覺。
有些事也不能彌補啊，光說著自己有多後悔有多痛苦也只不過是求良心心
安而已。
只是少年反抗期還可以看看就是了。
"It was not, Lord, that I lacked mind or memory, for you had given
me as much of these as my age required; but the one thing I
revelled in was paly; and for this I was punished by men who after
all were doing exactly the same things themselves."
Precipice：危機
admonish：提醒、警告
concupicences：肉欲
fortitude：堅毅
tear asunder ：撕碎
sumptuous：奢侈的、華麗的
Lucian
怎樣才是高明無比的說謊者呢？真真假假九分真話攙一分假話？還是明知
大家都知道這是謊言還面不改色大言不慚滔滔不絕口若懸河？
就算會被前者所騙，我還是很欽佩後者的。
反正也只是娛樂啊，大家輕鬆一下吧。
不是我要說，這真是野蠻時代裡讓人感到惡趣味的作品。月亮人太陽人樹人都出來了，說是SF或Fantasy 先驅還真不為過。喔月亮人的設定還真像是荒蕪世界呢，不過似乎也很符合後代許多民族的社會習俗？（說到這我還真後悔有一次在圖書館看到一本講這方面的書卻因為太大本而沒借回來看。）
這段不節錄是不行的啊。
"The first is that males and not females do the childbearing. Marriage is with males, and there isn't even a word for "woman." Men under twenty-five are the wives, men over, the husbands."
還替Odyseeus 代傳情書咧。
其實allusion應該也算是同人誌的一種吧。:P
belligerent 好戰的
先跳過神秘的愛情喜劇Pseudolus。:P
是羅馬精神嗎？這麼直來直往的情詩其實讀起來也是別有樂趣的。
不過這可能是先塑造出壞女人形象的作品之一了。:P
但是，先去勾搭有婦之夫的人本來就不對啊，雖然這種事也是要
兩相情願的....（進入碎碎念模式）
Plato
看來我沒有當哲學家的天分。只是對於寧可死也不肯去國懷鄉的蘇格拉底
感到有點欽佩而已。
"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways--I to die,
and you to live. Which is better God only knows."
deme ：希臘舊市區
drachma: 希臘銀幣
allege：主張、聲稱
cognizance：認知
原來我們的課本裡就有，那我那時在圖書館裡找得半死到底是為什麼呢？
算了反正人總是有年輕的時候。
我對史詩一向有奇特的感情存在。相較於後來佈局深奧探索人性的文學，史詩無異地看起來樸拙許多。不停地重複著特定的段落，呼告的語氣，誇張的形容，這些是史詩的特殊特徵，也讓史詩讀起來與其它文學類型不同。當然，句子可能不若王爾德漂亮，描寫可能也不若其它詩人深刻，但是那種雄壯的氣魄讀來也是別有風味的。
其實說不定我的愛好是Mythology？
（好像本來就是只是潛伏已久啊）
Arthur Miller
We're going nowhere. We tried, we struggled and we're still here.
藉由言語我們逃避現實，然而隱而不顯的真實還是劃破了偽裝。
It won't work out.
Lillian Hellman
每個人都有自己想要的東西，只是，為什麼有人的慾望會大到壓榨別人
呢？Birdie 很像另一個Blanche，脆弱而只能陷溺於自己的悲劇裡頭，
沒有自救的能力，而Alexandra 若非有她父親跟Addie 的幫助，真的就
能倖免於難吧？
平心而論，我可以欽佩Regina，有野心並且有才能加以實現並不是壞
事，只是玩弄人心這一點實在太冷酷了。
至於Oscar 跟Leo父子實在就很糟，只能欺負無力還手的對手，他們
的失敗實在不足以同情。
只是，隱藏在他們背後那無數的黑人白骨呢？
The Bear/Anton Chekhov
果然怒氣憋在心裡會造成心裡不健康啊，發洩之後就是雨過天晴，快快樂樂走下去呢。
"I loved, I suffered, I sighed at the moon, I languished, I melted, I grew cold."
一語道破戀愛症候群啊。XD
花子の初恋は淡雪のごとくはかなく消え入ったのだった。
理由のいかんにかかわらず、組織の秘密を漏らした者に死が待っている。
Sure Thing/David Ives
成功的搭訕、不、談話真是艱辛啊。（笑倒）
果然Lieberman真是折磨人。
Bill: Amazing how you can live right next door to somebody in this town and never even know it.
（這種事常發生的啦）
What's a sort-of boyfriend?
Betty: My lover. Here she comes right now!
（讚）
Bill: That's a very nice offer, but...
Betty; Uh-huh. Girlfriend?
Bill: Two, actully. One of them's pregnant, and Stephanie--
（這段要配合前面的某一段才更好笑，可是太長了我不想打）
嘖嘖我的文法書所舉的例句到底該說是實用呢還是犀利呢？:p
理想の社会を実現すべく、毎夜神に祈りを捧げる彼であった。
(為了實現理想的社會，他每夜都向神祈禱。）
（喂喂這種事跟神祈禱沒有用吧XD)
君ではあるではないし、だれが試験の前の日に酒を飲みに行くもんか。
M先生といい、T先生といい、この学校にはまともな先生がいない。
（M老師也好、T老師也好，總之這學校沒有像樣的老師。）
（有的學校很少吧XD)
子供ではあるまいし、目覚ましが鳴らなかったなんて言い訳が通用すると思ってるのか？
（又不是小孩子，你以為鬧鐘沒響這種藉口有用嗎？）
（其實跟理由或藉口無關，只是不想原諒而已。）
テレビのドラマではあるまいし、現実にそんなラブ・ストーリーがあるもんか？
（又不是電視劇，現實哪有這種愛情故事呢？）
（千萬別在現實上演偶像劇啊，收視率會慘跌的）
Louisa May Alcott
美國果然曾經是個很險惡的地方啊，我懷疑會有世界和平的到來。
"But in a hospital one learns that cheerfulness is one's salvation;
for, in an atmostphere of suffering and death, heaviness of
heart would soon paralyze usefulness of hand, if the blessed
gift of smiles had been denies us."
The Yellow Wallpaper/Charlotte Perkins Gilman
不知為何我想起The Hours的Virginia Woolf，總是有那麼多人說著為了我們為了他們，剝奪死亡的權利。如果可以，我希望不僅死得其所。
"But it tired me all the same."
Bharati Mukherjee
在平靜的悲傷中人類死去......That's serene; that's sadness. That's
not despair cause it's serene and without emotional storm. It's
that she knows she lost everything that counts and knows that's
not the end. Why? Why can't we choose when to end in a peaceful
way? I too can die here contentedly. I am alive, however.
That could be the most terrible part.
"Damn!" some man swears bitterly. "How can these preachers carry on like nothing's happened?" I want to tell him we're not that important. You look at the audience, and at the preacher in his blue robe with his beautiful white hair, the potted palm trees under a blue sky, and you know they care about nothing.
Pam stands her ground. "you think I don't know what Mummy's thinking? Why her? that's what. That's sick! Mummy wishes my little sister were alive and I were dead."
"Nothing I can do will make any difference, " I say. "We must all grieve in our own way."
I could die here, too, and be content.
"It's a parent's duty to hope."
At thirty-six, I am too old to start over and too young to give up. LIke my husband's spirit, I flutter between worlds.
But she knows that she's lost me. She knows that in days I shall be leaving.
Richard Connell
嘖嘖還真是獵「人」遊戲呢，由此可見人是做得出同類相殘這種事的。
不過就跟新白雪姬傳說的姬乃所說的一樣，看開了之後就很輕鬆了。
對了，結局很讚，沒有明確的交代，確有嗜血的快意。
"I refuse to believe that so modern and civilized a young man as you seem
to be harbors romantic ideas about the value of human life." ~`General Zaroff
Jamaica Kincaid
"this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you;"
原來人類不只自虐，還會互相虐待嗎？XD
這樣講其實說不定人類也才是平等的，大家彼此互相折磨嘛。
Holiday/Katherine Anne Porter
"While one lived one worked, that was all, and without complaints, for no one had time to listen, and everybody had his own torubles."
"There was nothing I could do for Ottilie, selfishly as I wished to ease my heart of her; she was beyond my reach as well as any other human reach, and yet, had I not come nearer to her than I had to anyone else in my attempt to deny and bridge the distance between us, or rather, her distance from me? Well, we were both equally the fools of life, equally fellow fugitives from death. We had escaped for one day more at least."
嘿，這其實也只是生物性的自保而已，只是也是太狡猾了點。但是為了保護自己而刻意或無意遺忘些什麼也都是無法責怪的，還是，只能責怪那再也無法出聲的人？
The Rain Child/ Margaret Laurence
"She wanted to ignore the slap, to forget it. Forgetfulness was her protection. Sometimes I wondered, though, how mcuh could be tryly forgotten and what happened to it when it was entombed."
"I thought so, once, " I replied. "But now I don't know. I think I may have come here mainly for myself, after all, hoping ot find a place where my light could shine forth. Not a very palatable admission, perhaps."
"At least you did not take others along on your pilgrimage."
"No. I took no one. No one at all."
舊地重遊或錦衣歸里有時並不是太過令人愉快的事情，但是悔恨又怎樣呢？終究還是得繼續的，之後，對於死去的人縱使有再多的愧疚也無須彌補了不是嗎？有時我難以忍受人類的狡猾，只要擺出一副悔恨莫名的臉孔就行了，而世界依然沒有改變。
是的，我想我厭惡我自己。
Ernest Hemingway
我們害怕全然空無，nada, nothingness, voidness
Why am I here?
我們的確需要一個乾淨明亮的地方來讓自己有活著的理由。
or, just to be sane.
"Last week he tried to commit suicide," one waiter said.
"Why?"
"He was in despair."
"What about?"
"Nothing?"
"I wouldn't want to be that old. An old man is a nasty thing."
(see, youth is merciless.)
"You have youth, confidence, and a job," the older waiter said."You
have everhthing."
"And what do you lack?"
"Everything but work."
"You have everything I have."
"No. I have even had confidence and I am not young."
What did her fear? It was not fear or dread. It was
a nothing that he knew too well. It was nothing and a
man was nothing too.
After all, he said to himself, it is probably only
insomnia. Many must have it.
Alice Munro
It's always like that. Love is so dangerous that we hurt those we
love and to prevent being hurt we run away. We may clearly see
the choices and the consequences; the sad thing is that there's no
other way. In a way I feel the same as the protagonist, distressed
and defeated; I ran away, not intending to go back to face the
music.
Why do we have always be "use" to anyone to be loved?
"My mother, I felt, was not to be trusted. She was kinder than my
father and more easily fooled, but you could not depend on her, and
the real reasons for the things she said and did were not to be
known.....It did not occur to me that she could be lonely, or
jealous. No grown-up could be; they were too fortunate."
"I didn't have any great feeling of horror and opposition, such
as a city child might have had; I was too used to seeing the
death of animals as a necessity by which we lived. Yet I felt
a little ashamed, and there was a new wariness, a sense of
holding-off, in my attitude to my father and his work."
"I was on Flora's side, and that made me no use to anybody,
not even to her. Just the same, I did not regret it; when she
came ruuning at me and I held the gate open, that was the only
thing I could do."
Flannery O'Connor
果然不管子女怎麼樣都無法滿足父母的期望嗎？還是這只是人類單純的
貪心和救世主情節作祟？總之Sheppard（這個名字真是有深意）讓我
想起了龍槍傳奇裡的Chrisania（唔、是叫這個名字嗎？），失敗是可
以預期的，The devil has most people in his power.
赫然發現這篇小說的名字取得很有趣。Sheppard, Norton, Furus Johnson
不信神卻又想領導人的Sheperd，信神卻又想當太空人的科學家，
還有奇詭卻又是最虔誠的Everyman.
"God, kid," Johnson said in a cracked voice, "how do you stand
it?" His face was stiff with outrage. "He thinks he's Jesus Christ."
Corilla, My Love/ Toni Cade Bambara
無法理解成人遊戲規則的小孩子。
曾經我也一度迷惘過，直到現在我還不敢說
我完全弄清楚了。
"And Baby Jason crying too. Cause he is my blood brother and
understands that we must stick together or be forever lost,
what with grown-ups playin chang-up and turmin you round
every which way so bad. And don't even say they sorry."
Guy Vanderhaeghe
原來我們的課本都收錄了這麼有趣的小說啊。
裡頭祖母的氣魄讓我想起了天空之城的海賊奶奶，太了不起了。
至於Thompson先生，對不起，不識相的就死得好。
我是佩服主角的，雖然是個小孩，但從watcher變成 player的時喉，
卻毫不遜色，這點我就輸多了，馬齒徒長。
令我更欣賞的是，這故事無關道德與正義，既然大家都為了自己，
就不能要求別人放棄自己的安全來誠實吐露，這才是這個社會最
終的法則，人類求生存的生物性。 He did know the rules.
現在只能希望我不要變成越來越無聊的老人。
"Well," said my grandmother at last, "round one. Now for round two--
get the hell out of my house."
Adults could be immensely interesting and entertaining if you knew
what to watch for.
'He must be an awful smart fellow to be studying to be a professor at
a university," I commented. It was the last dig I could chance.
"one thing I know for sure," snapped my grandmother. "He isn't smart
enough to lift the toilt seat when he pees. There's evidence enough
for that."
"YOu know, being intelligent means responsibilities. It means doing
something worth while with your life."
(Oh, why people can never give up mixing proud ingorance with ideals?)
He had no business begging me. I had watched their game from
the sidelines long enough to know the rules. At one time he had
imagined himself a winner. And now he was asking me to save him,
to take a rist, when I was more completely in her clutches than he
would ever be. He forgot I was a child. I depended on her."
Joseph Conrad
我必須承認我在第一段看到睡著了:P
（當年我在看黑暗之心時也是昏昏欲睡啊。）
可是最後他為了那位sharer 所做的舉動真是有某種英雄氣概，或許這
才是他收留那個人的動機，為了成就雙方的壯烈抉擇，但是他說的沒
錯，He is too proud to explain.
Love Medicine/Louise Erdrich
很棒的故事，充滿了想像力以及淡淡的悲傷。
每當看見印地諳人的題材，我就不免想起少年小樹之歌，而巧合的是，
又是主角與祖父母的故事（雖然沒有血緣關係）。而且，我覺得很好看。
生死豁達。
"And that's when I saw how much grief and love she felt for him.
And it gave me a real shock to the system. You see I thought
love got easier over the years so it didn't hurt so bad when it
hurt, or feel so good when it felt good. I thought it smoothed out
and old people hardly noticed it. I thought it curled up and died, I
guess. Now I saw it rear up like a whip and lash."
"Oh yes, I'm bitter as an old cutworm just thinking of how they
done to us and doing still." (I must confess this sentence is my
favorite.)
"It struck me how strong and reliable grief was, and death. Until
the end of time, death would be our rock."
"If I ever saw King again, I'd shake his hands. Forgiving some-
body else made the whole thing easier to ber."
I wonder whether I am forgiven or not now. Just wondering, cuz
that matters not, either. Nothing matters.
Anton Chekhov
"The Stories told of the immorality in such places as Yalta are to a
great extent untrue; he despised them, and knew that such stories
were for the most part made up by persons who wold themselves
have been glad to sin if they had been able...."
"Believe me, believe me, I beseech you..." she said. "I love apure,
honest life, and sin is loathsome to me...."
"He had to lives: one, open, seen and known by all who cared to
know, full of relative truth and of relative falsehood, exactly like
the lives of his friends and acquintances; and another life running
its course in secret."
"Why did she love him so much? He always seemed to women
different from what he was, and they loved in him not himself,
but the man created by their imagination, whom they had been
eagerly seeking in their lives; and afterwards, when they noticed
thier mistake, they loved him all the same. And not one of them
had been happy with him."
所以真實是什麼呢？
We can live under illusion; I guess that would be easier.
Richard Dokey
整體感覺非常悲傷的故事。It didn't talk a lot about loneliness, but
gives the feeling.
"His mother had told him the stars were a kind of purgatory in which
souls burned in cold, silent repentance. He had wondered after her
death if the earth too were not a star burning in loneliness, and he
could never look at them later without thinking this and believing
that the earth must be the brightest of all stars.
我想Juan 是有 trauma的，對於世界，那些可以用努力解決的問題永遠都不是問題，
真正的問題在於某些問題無法解決，even love won't work.
不知道為什麼我想起了衣食足而後知榮辱這句話，還是人類貪小
便宜的劣根性從來就沒有改過？
""Had I known" is a thing that serves us of nought."
Sophocles
拼字錯誤就請忽略吧。希臘悲劇的張力總是令人震撼的，只是令我更驚訝的是，Thebes的王位真不是個好位子，Creon當上了王後似乎就成了另一個Oedipus，一樣的固執驕傲，還是這是悲劇不得不然的命運？
Trifles/Susan Glaspell
"I tell you, it's queer, Mrs. Peters. We live close together and we live far apart. We all go through the same things--it's all just a different kind of the same thing."~Mrs. Hale
赫然發現大一時就唸過這個劇本，很短，可是就某一方面看來，依然適用於現在。
"As in other of his plays, in Happy Days Beckett shows human beings isolated in a symbolic wasteland, cut off from all but the most minimalhuman contact, passing the time as best they can while waiting doggedly or hoping desperately for something that will give meaning to the moment or to life itself."
~The Essential Theater
乞丐博士。1994年。
布蘭登費雪，片尾曲是 I'll remember，看了最後的30分鐘。
"I was wrong and I'm sorry."
"You were wrong, but I don't care whether you're sorry or not."
"You're not a dog."
Whitman
我們自以為是的灑脫與堅決在旁人眼中往往不值一文，這是因為無法理解世界的運轉方式，所以只能在骯髒發臭的街道上流浪，即使所求的也不過是一方遮雨的屋簷，甚或一枝骨頭。
誰說，我不是隻狗？
只是在搖尾乞憐後看著還是得不到的月亮也只能摸摸鼻子走開，知道走錯了路也沒有辦法改變方向。
因為怎麼樣都無法得到原諒。
就像我無法理解為何母親執意要明白我得到現在這個工作的方式。
是簡單的面試還是艱難的考試有差嗎？不過也就是尋找販賣自己才能和時間的過程而已。
光靠這樣是無法得到自由的。
今天到了王貫英紀念圖書館（古亭分館），冷氣很涼，唸書的人也很多（汗）
至於書的部分，外文書不多，但保存情況都很好。中文書的話感覺還滿豐富的，只是要容忍雜亂無章的秩序以及有時不見得保存良好的書況。
最後借了波赫士全集Ⅲ跟Blake selected poems
（話說我這樣真的好嗎？）
第五集完結。毘濕奴的意像在某章刊頭的蓮花座上更為明顯。
梅亞德果然是個有趣的人，瘋狂執著的程度甚日讓我覺得他
才是主角。貧瘠的是星球還是人呢？有著四分之一類似女性
的身體，就覺得有些理解女性的心理，對於自己殘破的身軀，
是不是又覺得遺憾？而對於娜絲塔和阿席辛又是怎麼想的呢？
可是他已經死了，沒有未來了。
「你知道為什麼計畫要訂在二十二年後終止嗎？」
「為什麼？」
「因為你的生命拖不過二十二年了。」
「什麼!」
「沒有人告訴過你嗎？」
「......沒有。」
.........
「除了愛我什麼都可以給妳。」
あの頃の私は 泣くことを知らない
シャボンのように
空の向こうには また同じ空があると
信じていた
あの人は行ってしまった
あの人は行ってしまった
遠い地平線の向こうへ
さよならも言わずに
あの人の住んだ街を
ふり返っても
今は もう 何も見えない
愛した予感さえ今は
むなしく通り過ぎるだけ
あの人は行ってしまった
あの人は行ってしまった
この青い空の向こうへ
悲しい思い出だけを残して
～銀色夏生
那個時候的我還不懂得哭泣
像肥皂一樣
在天空的另一邊 還有著同樣的天空
我是這麼相信的
那個人已經離開
那個人已經離開
前往遙遠地平線的另一端
沒有道別
即使再回到
那個人住過的街道
現在 也 什麼都看不見了
連被愛過的預感現在也
空虛地走過
那個人已經離開
那個人已經離開
前往這朗朗晴空的另一端
留下悲傷的回憶
「為什麼必須原諒所有無心的過錯？」~Por que
「私は留守よ 19の春
恋人たちの過ちは誰もとがめられない」～銀色夏生
（I am absent in the spring of nineteen years old.
No one could blame the trespass of lovers)
我在影射些連我自己都不知道的事情。
但是有什麼好原諒的呢？當一切都毫不相關的時候，
當一切都沒有感覺的時候。
Whatever
我只是致力不要成為連自己都覺得無聊的人而已。
這世界已經太乏善可陳了。
I always feel sympathy for Fitz, not only for his birth right,
but also for his loneliness and fear.
"We have to save the world." that's the excellent saying of the Fool.
But young soul ages quickly. I could understand Fitz's loss, all passion
taken away more willingly tha not in the end and the hermitage.
It's the choice one makes when one knows one has to let go
of the former life, the former love, and the youth to gain the peace
of mind or to compromise with the world. It's a choice made when one
knows one couldn't do anything to make his beloved ones better; when
one knows that though he seeked sought first, he had better get
the hermitage as the reward.
I won't say his motivation come from his consideration. It's just what one
might do when he is totally exhausted, mentally and physically, and
whe he decides that it's better to walk out the human intrigues.
Young soul ages quickly. Those advantures, affections, ambitions, tasks,
and dreams of deeds hurt, deeply.
And if one has no one to turn to in the end, he has to create one himself,
with his "pack" perhaps.
But Chade regained his old life, came out of shade. And yet, after all, Chade
didn't have a bond; he was totally human. Fitz and Nighteyes were between
human and wolf. They are neither.
So they chose a simple life, a simple life which could be accepted by both.
1 : the quality or state of being true or real
2 : something (as a statement) that is true; especially : a fundamental and inevitably true value *such eternal verities as honor, love, and patriotism*
3 : the quality or state of being truthful or honest *the king-becoming graces, as justice, verity ∣Shakespeare*
第二個小孩的難處大家都知道。不過反正被忽略的小孩也是會長大的，
看，惟真就是個好例子XD
另外老大和老二好像真的會聯合起來排擠老三，不一定要跟父母有關，
年齡有點差距就會這樣。（親身體驗）
總之，請多加油（合掌）
不過通常有主角挺的人應該是不會有事的啦。（不過好像也有例外，龍族
的吉西恩就掛了Q__Q）
目前進度：
Royal Assassin Chapter 1
唉黠謀果然是老狐狸。這一定是他故意的，說什麼沒有精技了，根本就是用
溫情攻勢要把主角拐回來廢物利用嘛，嘖。
Shrewd
國王有兩種，一種是晚節不保的例如唐太宗乾隆之類，一種是從
一開始就是扶不起的阿斗。至於英明神武的皇帝，大概只有在童
話故事裡才看得到。
黠謀大概就是屬於第一種。
寵小孩是沒關係啦，但是寵心胸狹小又是遜喀的小孩就真的是遜
掉了。而且還把孫子和哥哥的性命送給他當玩具，你真的有在為
王國的存續著想嗎？
所以說，把一國之存亡繫在一人之上的封建制度不可取不是沒有
原因的。
還有，大敵來襲，不趁著婚禮的時候跟人家締結聯盟，居然還要
殺新娘的哥哥，圖幾十年後的政治利益，真的以為人家查不出來
啊？低估別人的實力就表示你已經老了......而且野心太大也不怕
自己吃不下嗎？
所以說，人一老就容易腦筋生鏽。還是趕快退位吧。不要老是說
自己的老婆只有野心沒有能力，你也快差不多了。
Galen.
A very interesting character. It's hard to understand his
hatred for Fitz, especially being a bastard himself.
And a misogynist...well, very curious.
And if a bastard's existence shames his father, doesn't his
father's existence shame him as well?
Then again, I think it's because the world is always hotile
to the weak, Darwinism, no matter we want to admit it or not.
"No, I'll teach you the nasty, furtive, polite way to kill people." by Chade
nasty and polite? Is killing people polite? Anyway, the statement is interesting, though.
Chapter 5
"And tomorrow we'll do the same again. And again. Until one day you get up and find out that whatever it was didn't kill you after all." by Burrich
He overcomes it. Will I?
"But before I left his chambers that night, I walked to his hearth. Without a word, I placed the knife on the center of his mantel shelf. Actually, I drove it, blade first, into the wood of the shelf. Then I left without speaking of it or meeting his eyes. In fact, we never spoke of it.
I believe that the knife is still there."
I always love this paragraph since it indicates that Fitz still has one chance to escape from being slaved as Chade was.
Chatper 6
"Most prisons are of our own making. A man makes his own freedom, too." by Chade.
I am afraid that I have to admit that apart from the fool, Chade would be my favorite role. Perhaps it's because he probably shares the same life experiences with Fitz and thus has sympathy on him.
Chapter 7
"But why should I mourn him?" by Fitz
I am quite curious about this statement, about whether Fitz is really sad about Chivalry's death. And this is not a thing to show off. I always think relationships, blood or not, take the both sides to recognize. Apart from Chivalry, since he is always a shade and never speaks of his own words, Shrewd is quite a cold man. He uses both Fitz and Chade as tools. Well, that's not a bad thing after all since he keeps his bargain. But does he still keep it when he sells Fitz out to Regal later? I recognize him as a king who deserves loyalty, but does the loyalty deserve human life? I doubt it.
"But youth is merciless."
銀色夏生是我剛上大學時初接觸到BBS時發現的一顆寶石。那時
是在某BBS站上有人翻譯了「這也是完全相同的一日」詩集中的
一些詩。非常的棒，有某種難以理解的氛圍。但是我日文程度一
直沒啥進步，也一直沒再深入研究。:p
總之，在大學生涯結束的時候重看她的詩，感覺很微妙。
非公式HP:http://www23.big.or.jp/~feyse/giniro.htm
這是我最喜歡的她的詩。
空は魔法の雲の上
何があなたを抱きしめたの
夢うつつの日々
秋の夕暮れの恋人となりはてた
あなたは
たき火の煙のまなざしを
宙にさまよわせている
私は と言えば
困りはてた 一本の木
なにもかもを超えてゆく
勇気をください
天空在魔法的雲上
是什麼緊緊擁抱著你呢?
半夢半醒的日子裡
已成為秋日夕暮戀人的
你
讓營火炊煙的目光
在天空徘徊流浪
我呢 說起來
是一株困惑無助的樹
請給我超越一切的勇氣
扮裝俏佳人/武藤啟。
結束了。其實也不是多好看的漫畫，副標題叫做王子想成為公主，
我覺得改成公主想成為王子說不定還比較恰當。（雖然樹梨一直
都很努力‧‧‧）
總之，劇情用校園青春熱血喜劇一句話就可以待過去。男女主角雖然
童年時期就兩情相悅了，不過總是要歷經一番風雨點點點點，所以也
沒什麼好講了。
武藤啟的女主角一直都很努力，雖然也都一直看不出來在努力什麼。
不過很有個性的配角總是增加了可看性。（例如奈津、阿亮、樹梨的
父母‧‧‧）
結局也沒什麼令人驚訝的，雖然18歲舉行婚禮好像有點早...不過之後
就看不見樹梨帥氣的男裝打扮了啊（不是我要說，她在達希的狀態時
肩膀會自動變寬，讓十夜完全沒有立場啊。果然二次元的漫畫就是如
此方便。）生活的樂趣似乎又減少了一樣。唉。
" Perhaps my best years are gone.
When there was a chance of happiness.
But I wouldn't want them back.
Not with the fire in me now.
No, I wouldn't want them back."
好像應該引用比較正面的句子，這樣才不會顯得太過灰暗:p
但是，要不是 Krapp這麼的倔強頑固，這劇本我大概也不會想看了吧。
如果有值得懷念的回憶，終日鎖在昏沈黑暗的地下室緬懷青春其實也不失為養老的好方法之一。只是得擔心風濕啊:p
總之，有些事可以被改變，有些事不會改變，有些事就算改變也無力挽回。
畢業了。以前的我總是在畢業當天為那個時期作個完整的結束。
國中的畢業典禮當天我忙著將一箱箱的書從宿舍搬回家。
高中的畢業典禮勉強接了花照了相然後就再也沒去過學校。
大學。畢業典禮當天我在打工。
可是去年的畢業典禮讓我學到了一些事，不是某個特定的時間點決定分離的結果。
那是一個人心裡的決定。沒有人可以輕易地和過去的自己道別，我以為自己做得到，
是因為在那六年內，我活得很自在，卻不快樂。
大學這四年很難說我有什麼成就，但至少我認清了自己能做些什麼。
沒有捨不得的心情，因為真的捨棄不掉的，我就帶走了。
突然覺得自己有被開導了的感覺。:p
Infertile world/ by Hagio moto
荒蕪世界/荻尾望都
想必是20年以上的老作品，但看著專業的術語飛來飛去，雖然不太明白，卻不自覺地湧出敬意。:p
沒有夏娃的伊甸園，還能稱為伊甸園嗎？
梅亞德很有趣，是個帶著狂氣的角色，也不負他身上帶著的艾基凱拉基因了。
只看到第三集，不過偷翻了結局，世界是少年的夢，突然想到了毘濕奴，眼睛一開一闔間，世界也生滅了一回。
另，這是在網路上找到的，看起來非常嚴肅的paper。
不過看見參考書目出現了 "The Left Hand of Darkness"時，還是嚇了一跳。:D
還來不及仔細看，不過想必應該很有趣。
http://www.genders.org/g36/g36_ebihara.html
重看了個人版的精華區，非常、非常懷念。
成島由利大概是我繼紫堂恭子（邊境警備）之後排名第二喜歡的漫畫家。（第三是富間義博）。成島比紫堂少了點溫馨，但也多了點想像力，以及複雜細膩的台詞與描寫。不管是原獸文書或少年魔法士，還是不死者Agito，都體現出了她獨特的黑色幽默。
而且每個人物特別但多少帶有偏執狂的個性非常的迷人:p
凱諾和班長，你們一定要得到幸福啊！！！！（突然熱血了起來:D)
補充:
Femme fatale，我以為擔當此名詞之最佳人選為安奴夫人，令人瘋狂的不只是她的美貌與肉體，更令人無法自拔的其實是她眼裡的迷亂與偏執，失去理智的她，將她做出的種種瘋狂舉止都覆蓋上了一種難以理解的美，不是聖母般救贖的光輝，而是散發瘴氣的沼澤，一陷入就難以安然離開。
「我已經決定，要陪我自己走到地獄最深處。」~凱諾/少年魔法士