Since early this year, invited by Kirby, Jedi and I have been going hiking for some months. But it is after mid-June that we increased the frequency of hiking for the sake of health as well as losing weight. For the past three weeks we finished seven of the twenty trails mapped out by Taipei government and went to Ho-Huan mountain again (we have been to it once in early June with Kirby and other friends).
In fact, I've been feeling ambivalent emotions toward hiking as my physical strength lapsed in these years. Most of the time I could only pant and concentrate on moving my feet. And the worse thing is, sometimes physical difficulty results in mental humility--when you are quite a proud person.
I am not a very proud person, but still it does not feel good when you are the one and only person who always demands intermittent rest all the way. :p
But if it is so painful for me then why do I persist? Certainly the fresh air and the scenery are both incentives for me to hang on. Besides, after we increased the frequency of hiking these three weeks, I gradually find my physical strength back. It feels good when one could make progress.
And yet, what I like best of this sport is that no matter how many companions you have and no matter how excited you get during the rest time, you still have to go on your own way. You have to keep your own pace, control your own breath, and mind your own schedule of rest as well as drinking water. In a word, you have to concentrate on yourself. Any attempt to follow others as fast as possible could only result in exhaustion. :p
That sounds a little eccentric or egoistic. Why? Are we not going to stick together, as a team? But, believe me, it really is the time to confirm your own smallness as well as loneliness when you drag yourself on and on in the mountains, wondering where you are going to and when you can rest. It does not mean distress, however. For me, it indeed is a time to immerse yourself in your own world, speaking to yourself (as you could not spare the energy to talk to others XD), maybe humming some songs in your own mind, debating with yourself (although no one could perceive the storm in your mind), or persuading yourself from giving up. And then in the end, after you complete the long, weary trail, you might understand that even in this wide wild world there is still something/someone you could hold on to and that facing yourself, after all, is not so horrible a matter.
By the way, the song that has been hovering over my mind recently is On Peak Hill by stars, an excellent song so sad that it could not but sound like a lighthearted dream. :-)